Thursday, December 8, 2011

Lauren on an adventure in Cambodia.

My time in Cambodia is coming to a close and I feel rather sentimental. During my other travels, I have always felt that my time in each country was long enough, and I felt ready to move on. As a college student, I am used to thinking about the future and what lies ahead: what classes will I sign up for, when are my projects due, where will I work next summer, where will I live next year, what kind of career do I want, should I go to graduate school right away, etc.

This is the first time I am not ready to part with a country. Interestingly enough, this has been my longest time abroad as well.

I want to plan my next adventure through Cambodia! Not plan my class schedule. I want to keep working for this amazing little NGO that no one’s ever heard of. Not be bogged down with homework assignments.

I can think of a couple reasons why I don’t want to move on. First, the organization I work for is whole-heartedly committed to their projects and to the people we serve.  The mission statement isn’t just some words written beneath a logo. My coworkers truly want to see Cambodia’s rural poor have a better quality of life. My boss is especially committed; he works hard at the office, at home, on the weekends and wakes up early to get extra work done. In a country where 2-hour lunches are common, his work ethic is uncommonly strong. My co-workers work very hard as well – striving to make our program as successful as possible. Each month, my boss finds new ways to improve our work, including planning several trainings and seminars for our office and provincial staff in 2012. I can’t believe I won’t be here to see all the changes to come in the new year!

Pathways to Development is a fairly small operation and it amazes me to see how much work they can accomplish for the 275 children – and their families – that they serve.

Lauren (far left) with her coworkers at Pathways to Development.

My office mates are some of the most caring people I have ever met, and this is definitely shown through their work. They take their work personally.

When a boy in our program developed a very serious case of anemia, the staff took him to the capitol for treatment. The boy needed a blood transfusion immediately, but the blood bank was low on supply. This is when my boss volunteered to give his own blood to the boy. Thankfully, his blood type is O-negative – a universal donor.  The boy is now back in his home province, receiving regular check ups. Thanks to my boss, he is now a healthy boy.

This kind of generosity is not uncommon here at Pathways to Development. Through Pathways, Holt supports two siblings whose parents are HIV-positive. They are a very poor family living in a run-down hut that could not protect them properly from Cambodia’s rainy season. Although our work usually deals with nutrition, health and education, it was clear that this family needed extra aid. Pathways provided this family with a new roof and some other home improvements that were desperately needed.  Since the mother and father both get treatment for their HIV from a hospital 20 km away, they were also provided a bicycle to make their trip easier and faster. The people in our program are cared for personally by our staff and this has made my time here unforgettable.
I am surprised about how much I have learned during my short stay in Cambodia with Pathways to Development. I expected to learn the basics about NGOs and the daily functions of this organization. To my delight, I learned a whole lot more! I will miss this laid back style of life, I will miss the people I have met and worked with, and I will miss this strange culture that I have grown to love.

During her stay in Cambodia, Lauren visited children at a local orphanage. "It was apparent that the main thing the children wanted was attention: they wanted to be held, embraced and loved," she writes.

Within her first few days in Cambodia, Lauren traveled along for a meeting between a young woman and the child she sponsors through Holt. Click here to read her story.

To read more about Holt’s work in Cambodia, click here.

A Q&A with Mariia Zimmerman, mom of Zach and Henry

Henry (left) and Zach (right) with the poster they made to help raise funds for Thailand flood relief.

How old are your boys and what grade are they in?
Zachary is 5 and started Kindergarten this fall. Henry is 9 and in the 4th grade.

How long did Zach live with his foster mother in Thailand?
Zachary lived with his foster mom for 16 months. We adopted him when he was 18 months old.

What does he remember about his foster mom (and foster family)?
Zachary doesn’t remember very much, but we talk about his culture and history with him. He’s very curious to know about it all and asks lots of questions. We have pictures of Zachary with his foster mom that Holt sent to us while we were waiting the nine long months between referral and being able to go over to Thailand and bring him home. These are part of Zach’s adoption book, which he likes to read and discuss all the photos.

One of the stories we like to tell is that his foster mother lived very close to a Buddhist temple, which had an area for children to play soccer in the courtyard. Zachary spent a lot of time there when he was a baby, watching the children. His foster mom told us he always had a laugh when they played soccer and he learned to kick a ball shortly after he could walk. When we met Zachary, he already had really good soccer skills and to this day he loves to play. It was one of the things that we did a lot of when he first joined our family, since his older brother also enjoyed playing and it didn’t require either knowing how to speak the other’s language.

What is International Night?
Our school in Arlington, VA has a tremendous amount of diversity among the students who attend. A couple years ago, the PTA came up with the idea to celebrate this diversity and began hosting an “international night.” Students and their families are encouraged to celebrate their cultural heritage. The teachers also were deeply involved. Together we had games, information booths and geography quizzes. Families brought desserts to share from favorite traditional family recipes, and a local international restaurant graciously provided the food.  Kids dressed up in clothing from their culture, and students participated in a talent show, which included Irish Dancing, Japanese drumming, and many other neat musical skills.

Did the boys come up with the idea to hold a fundraiser for Holt? What inspired them?
Everyone was encouraged to participate and given that none of us had the skill to pull off Thai dancing, we discussed other options. My brother, who lives in Thailand, had been telling us about the flooding there; he had 9 feet of water in his house and was evacuated. We also got the email from Holt asking to help the foster families who had been dislocated. Zach was wanting to do something about Thailand and Henry came up with the idea to make a sign and collect money.  We made a poster that highlighted what was happening in Thailand with the flooding.

How did they inspire others to donate to Holt — what was their message?  
The poster board had pictures of the flooding, and told very briefly about Zach’s connection to his birth country and the need to help foster families there. It included a picture of Zach and his foster mom. Given that November was National Adoption Month, it seemed a good way to highlight both important issues. Our family brought in some Thai items – including Thai silk, the Thai flag and Thai candies – and made a display. We even played some traditional Thai music on our iPod. One of the most interesting things was how very few people knew that there was even flooding happening in Thailand. A lot of people wanted to discuss Thailand, adoption, the flooding, and the effects of global climate change.  It was pretty amazing.

How do Zach and Henry envision Holt using the money they raised?  What do they hope to help us accomplish?
The boys asked people to contribute $10 or $5 or whatever they could afford to help. With the flooding still happening at that point, we were asking to raise money for supplies to help the foster families and children.

Zach hopes the money is going to help his foster mom buy a new house. In discussing the flooding, he was really worried about her, and his birth mom. He is pretty sure his foster mom will now be able to get a house like ours, just a little smaller.  His brother likes to point out that is not really what is going to happen. Henry envisions Holt using it to help bring water and food to families. Their cousin Benya, who lives in Thailand, made a video showing what her school is doing to help and both boys hope that the money they raised is being used like this to help.

To read about Holt’s efforts to help foster families affected by the recent flooding in Thailand, click here.

Join Zach and Henry and donate to Holt’s Thailand Rehabilitation Fund!

In the coming weeks and periodically throughout the year, we will feature stories about children who raise funds for Holt, and parents, grandparents and others who raise funds on behalf of the children in their lives. Know of a child or family who helped raise funds for Holt? Share your story with Holt’s senior writer, Robin Munro, at robinmunro@holtinternational.org.

Dear Friends,

Two years ago — On January 12th, 2010 — I walked into Holt’s office with a heavy heart. News reports of the devastating 7.0 magnitude earthquake in Haiti were difficult to watch. 230,000 people had lost their lives. Millions more were left homeless and struggling to survive.

Today, the tremendous need remains. Two years have passed, but little has changed in Haiti. Buildings are still in shambles. Families are still without homes. Children aren’t getting enough to eat.

Haiti is still in a state of emergency.

I ask you to pray that God’s healing hand be on the sick, hungry and helpless children and families, and that He would continue to bring the people of this devastated country peace, courage and strength. We, as an organization, are grateful that God has used us these past two years to bring hope to the people of Haiti.

Your donations and prayers have truly made a difference in the past two years! Through your support, we’ve continued to provide temporary care to children at Holt Fontana Village and helped families get back on their feet.

But there is still a lot of work to do! And now, we ask for your help once more.

We remain committed to our work in Haiti. But we can’t bring about hope — we can’t bring about change — without your help!

We will continue to count on your prayers and donations as we move forward for the children of Haiti.

Thank you!

For the Children,

Phillip Littleton

President and CEO

Help a child in Haiti today!

Hunter in July 2011, age 8.

One year to the day we adopted our daughter, Lily – from China through Holt – we got the call about a 4-year-old boy named “Hung” in Vietnam. Holt thought he would be a good match for our family. We had applied to the special needs program only a few months earlier, knowing we wanted to adopt an older child and also that we did not want to wait the 13 months it took to bring our daughter home from China between 2005 and 2006. We had gone to committee once before, but Holt’s social workers decided another family was a better fit for that child. After that, we felt greatly discouraged and weren’t sure we would ever be matched.

We were shocked to receive the call only a month later about Hung.

With a 10-year-old and 2-and-a-half-year-old at home, 4 seemed on the lowest end of the age spectrum we would consider.  And we knew nothing about the Vietnam program.  After praying about it and talking it over as a family for a few days, we requested the file.

One look at Hung’s beautiful brown eyes and we were in love.

In September of 2008, fifteen months after we accepted Hung’s referral, the U.S. and Vietnam decided not to renew their Memo of Understanding regarding adoptions and subsequently suspended all international adoption from Vietnam. We managed to endure the next seven months with the help of weekly telephone calls with Holt staff, hundreds of supportive e-mails, and several visits with our online Holt Vietnam friends and Dong Nai waiting parents group. After our case was finally resolved, we traveled to Bien Hoa, Vietnam, where on April 13, 2009, we met and adopted our son Hung, who we named John “Hunter.”

Hunter came to us with a huge smile and an open heart.

Hunter in his first referral photo, as "Hung."

“Hung” in Vietnamese means “hero” or “brave.”  That describes our son exactly.  We were told he had “special needs” due to his age and an “expressive speech delay.”  We were stunned in Vietnam because he never stopped talking to anyone and everyone in fluent Vietnamese. Apparently, he just wouldn’t speak to his social worker during quarterly visits!

At age 6, after bouncing from an orphanage to two different foster homes, we were his final “placement.” Hunter joined our family and never looked back.  He bonded with all of us immediately, especially his older brother, Marshall, and younger sister, Lily.  He started understanding English immediately and after a few months, we stopped counting the number of new words he acquired each week.

When he started kindergarten, we worried that other students might tease him because of the language barrier, but his teacher told us that he was so confident and helpful that no one would tease him. Initially, Hunter had extreme tantrums of frustration when we could not understand what he was trying to communicate. As we all adjusted to our “new normal,” those heart-wrenching fits of wailing and flailing in frustration disappeared.  Hunter still struggles mightily with reading and writing, but his ESOL teacher tells us he has exceeded all expectations.  He is right on target for science and math and excels at art!  He is in a regular classroom and keeping up with his classmates.  Hunter is all boy – active, active, active and a total ham bone!  He revels in making others laugh.

Hunter with brother Marshall, dad Jim and sister Lily on his adoption day in Vietnam.

A dream that every Vietnamese boy and girl had a home.

This year, the PTA of Hunter’s elementary school held an essay contest for students in grades 2-6.  The kids were asked to submit an essay completing the statement, “If I had $100, the charity I would give it to is…”

Hunter chose Holt and wrote:

I pick Holt International Children’s Agency.  They helped my family adopt me from Vietnam and my sister from China.  They help kids around the world.  They need animals to help poor children with no food.  They need clothes and medicine for kids.  They help kids find forever families.  They build houses and schools.  I would ask them to send the $100 to my orphanage in Vietnam to buy toys, books and crayons for the kids who still wait for families of their own.  Please pick Holt.  They rock!

A winner was chosen from each class and given a $100 check from the PTA for their charity.  Out of hundreds of essays submitted, Hunter won for the second grade!

The winners were asked to read their essays at a “Gift of Giving” assembly at school right before Thanksgiving.  Hunter practiced reading his essay for days and was the last speaker of the night.  There was not a dry eye in the house!

So often we are approached and asked, “Does he know how lucky he is?” Often, Vietnamese people will tell us how “blessed” Hunter is.  Our response is always the same – He is our gift.  He is our special gift from God.  In the two and a half years he has been with us, we have learned many lessons in patience, faith, forgiveness and courage from this little boy with the big smile and the open heart.  We know that his love and compassion will be a gift to the world for the rest of his life.

Hunter's family on Mother's Day 2011. From Left: Jim, Hunter, Lily, Mary Li and Marshall Duda.

Visit Holt’s sponsorship page to learn how you can change a child’s life in Vietnam or another country! 

Click here to read more about Holt’s work in Vietnam.

Know of a child or family who helped raise funds for Holt? Share your story with Holt’s senior writer, Robin Munro, at robinmunro@holtinternational.org.

DOB: 8/1/01 and 3/3/02, Jilin, China

by Robin Munro, Senior Writer

Shen Ying (left) and Shen Jia (right) grew up together as foster brothers.

Two years ago, in November of 2009, we received the following email from Sue Liu, Holt’s (beloved) office manager in Beijing:

Two weeks ago, I went to Jilin (province) where we have had a foster care program for three years. I met three boys whose files are in the CCAA now… All their information has been released many times online, but, for some reason, they have not been matched. All these boys have very good personalities, they like to help others, like to share, like to go to school and get along well with other kids.

All three of the boys were older, and two of them – Shen Ying* and Shen Jia* – grew up together in the same foster home. About these two boys, Sue wrote:

I saw them at their foster home, and both of their foster parents were at home also. They are very close to their foster parents, especially their foster mom. They told me they just call their foster mom “Mom”, and foster dad “Dad”. Every day, after school, their foster mom stays with them and watches them finish their homework. Then they have dinner together. Then, they go walking. All the people think they are a family. Shen Jia and Shen Ying are very good friends, and they call each other “brother.” They are good at math. Like all the boys, they love to play with cars and so one.

At the end of her email, she wrote that she would visit them again soon. She also asked us to help advocate for their adoption, writing, “I do hope we can find families for them, Please!!!”

In March, she wrote again, inquiring about our progress in finding families for these boys. No luck so far.

The following summer, in July of 2010, I traveled to Jilin province with Sue Liu and Jessica Palmer, Holt’s waiting child program manager. Here, we met Shen Ying and Shen Jia. In the months since Sue first wrote about the boys, she had visited them again several times, and they had grown very fond of each other. Upon seeing her, Shen Ying and Shen Jia – dressed exactly alike in matching striped Polo shirts – ran up to Sue and threw their arms around her. They then ran off to play with the other children in the room.

Shen Ying in December 2011.

It was a sweet, sincere moment.

Although not biological brothers, the two boys resembled each other. A year apart in age – one 8, one 9 – they both had telltale scars on their upper lip from cleft lip and palate surgery. Both abandoned within days after they were born, they came to live at the same social welfare institute before joining the same foster family. They had a lot in common, and they grew up, as Sue said, calling each other “brother.”

During our visit, they showed distinct differences in their personalities as well. Although both friendly and exuberant, the older of the two – Shen Ying – seemed a bit more outgoing and expressive. He took more interest in us, and hammed it up, using the props at his disposal – a humongous stuffed bear, a scarf, a long tube – to make us laugh. The younger brother, Shen Jia, kept more to himself.  In child reports, social workers describe Shen Jia as independent, “inner-directed,” disciplined and athletic. They describe Shen Ying as talkative, polite and “good at imitation.” Both boys are described as intelligent, quick learners and diligent, enthusiastic students.

Their foster mom, a warm, youthful woman with long, shiny black hair, also came along for the visit. She seemed proud of her foster sons, and shared with us that they are both their teachers’ favorites in their 2^nd and 3^rd grade classes. They are, she said, very popular with the other children, have excellent manners and help at home. They also sometimes fight “as brothers do.”

“Does he know anyone who’s been adopted?” Jessica asked Sue of Shen Ying, standing nearby.

A photo of Shen Jia from Abbie's recent visit, in December 2011.

Sue then turned the question to Shen Ying, who through translation told us that he loves his foster mother very much, but knows he may be adopted someday.

As we were about to leave, the brothers ran up to hug all of us goodbye – including Jessica and I. They seemed like such good-hearted, intelligent boys, and they left a strong impression on both of us.

A week later, we returned to Oregon and immediately stepped up our efforts to advocate for their adoption. We featured them in the Waiting Child photolisting and on the Holt blog.

But again, no luck. No family. A year passed, and the boys turned 9 and 10.

In December, Abbie Smith – Holt Director of Clinical Services – returned from a trip to China. While there, she also had the chance to visit Shen Ying and Shen Jia and assess their potential for adoption. She visited them at home, with their foster mother at their side.

Her impressions of the two boys reinforced our earlier impressions. She describes Shen Jia as more athletic and less emotionally expressive than his brother. “He acknowledged that his brother is better at relationships,” says Abbie. “He’s better at sports.” She says they seemed very close and accepting of each other, and both expressed the desire to join the same adoptive family.

When the topic of adoption came up, Shen Ying would tear up and briefly leave the room. He feels sad about leaving his foster mother. His brother, meanwhile, was less expressive in his feelings about leaving China, and seemed more resigned.

“Their foster mother wants to stay in touch with the boys after their adoption and it was clear that they want to stay in touch with her,” writes Abbie, who recommends finding a family who “can support their love for their foster mother while they are learning to love their forever family.”

I recently asked Jessica what she remembers about them. “I remember they were super sweet boys, active but not overly so, as active as you would guess for an 8-year-old boy,” she said. “I remember they played well with the other younger kids, and were very attached to their foster mom.”

Without a doubt, Shen Ying and Shen Jia have charmed all of us. They are sweethearts who deserve a family to love and support them in all their endeavors, throughout their lives. Two years after Sue first wrote that pleading email, they are “for some reason” — unknown to us — still waiting.

Who wouldn’t love to raise these boys?

Shen Ying and Shen Jia need a family who can  provide them with access to a craniofacial team to follow-up with speech therapy and further surgeries they will most likely need. Their family should also have experience with adoption and parenting past their ages.

To learn more about Shen Ying and Shen Jia, contact Erin Mower at erinm@holtinternational.org.

* names changed

DOB: April 27, 1998

Sichuan Province, China

In April, Ian will turn 14 and become ineligible for international adoption from China. Eligible and interested families should immediately contact their agency. Holt families should contact Jessica Palmer at jessicap@holtinternational.org. See eligibility requirements below.*

Ian (name changed) entered institutional care when he was 4 years old, in May of 2002. A healthy boy with a “sunny” disposition, Ian was also rather quiet upon admission and tended to stand back and observe his surroundings. At the institute, caregivers quickly enrolled him in a program to help him adjust to his new environment. Here, he got along well with his classmates, and quickly became more talkative and active in the group. The following year, he began primary school near his home at the child welfare institute. He became a diligent student who listened well, eagerly answered questions in class, and regularly completed his homework after school. His teachers all liked him a great deal.

After five years in the institute, Ian went to live with a foster family in July of 2007. Then 9, Ian developed a loving bond with this family, in whose care he continued to grow strong and healthy. He developed a taste for spicy food, honed his basketball skills, and became interested in computer games and remote control toys, as well as drawing and playing the guitar. Described as bright and extroverted, Ian has many friends. His foster mom describes him as “sensible and good.”

Now 13, Ian is in junior high school. He is a serious student with grades that always put him at the head of the class.

Although close to his foster family, Ian understands that his situation is not permanent. Initially, he felt fearful of going to a new place – of feeling lonely, and missing his foster family and friends – but he has grown to understand what it means to join an adoptive family, and now embraces the idea of international adoption.

*Ian has less than four months before he turns 14, at which time he will become ineligible for adoption. Due to the short timeframe to adopt, families must already have a dossier in China or have adopted from China within the past year and have a current USCIS 1800A approval. An ideal family for Ian will have parented past his age and also have previous adoption experience.