by Chris Tiernan

We witness a miracle every time a child enters into life.  But those who make their journey home across time & miles, growing within the hearts of those who wait to love them, are carried on the wings of destiny and placed among us by God’s very own hands. – Kristi Larson

The above quote encompasses our adoption journey, which ended with two beautiful boys coming home to us from Korea.

Even before we were married 15 years ago, my wife Elizabeth and I had always planned to adopt.  We envisioned having a dynamic and loving family made up of both biological and adopted children.  But after several years of attempting to get pregnant, infertility issues prompted us to start our adoption journey earlier than expected.  However, since we already had a mindset to adopt, this decision was not a difficult one.

Eight years later, we have the family we could never have envisioned.

In 2010, we received an email from Holt notifying us that Korea was now accepting adoption applications for children with minor medical conditions.  We knew that Korea had stopped accepting applications for some time, so it was exciting to receive the email.  It was very important to us that we adopt from Korea, since we wanted a sibling from Korea for our first son Nathaniel (Nate) – who we adopted from Korea in 2006.

As our experience with Holt was extremely positive the first time, we contacted them without any hesitation.

We submitted our application in October of 2010 and, after furiously completing all the paperwork and home study requirements, we received our child assignment papers in March of 2011. It was so exciting to receive those first couple of pictures.  Noah was 8 months old at the time.

We fell in love with him at first sight, and named him as soon as we saw the picture.

At the same time, it was a little scary as well.  We knew going in that Korea was only releasing for international adoption children with at least some minor medical conditions.  In preparation, we filled out a medical conditions checklist stating which conditions we would be open to. But until that first referral email, we had no idea what kind of condition that would be.  Noah was born with an abnormal sonogram of the brain and, after some research, there was no definitive way to determine how – or if – it would affect him now or later in life.  However, Holt’s medical staff reassured us that the results from these scans were fairly common as they usually indicate some sort of trauma during childbirth that doesn’t normally manifest further.  Fortunately, all subsequent monthly scans came back normal and this alleviated some of our concerns.

We fell in love with him at first sight of his referral picture and could think of nothing else, except, “How soon can we go pick him up?!” What made the experience even more enjoyable was to see the joy on Nate’s face as he could finally see tangible evidence of his little brother.  He was so excited and immediately started talking about all the things he could do with him.

Awaiting approval for the travel call was quite intense.

For 6 months, we received constant updates regarding delays in Emigration Permit (EP) submission – the official documents permitting children to leave Korea with their adoptive families. All the while, we were very apprehensive that Korea would reach their quota and close travel until the following year.  It was 6 of the longest months of our lives.

Noah in the traditional outfit his foster mother gave him for "Tol," his first birthday.

As we waited for the travel call, one of the things that made the wait more bearable was involving Nate in virtually all the preparation.  Since Nate was also adopted, it was very important to us that he experience most aspects of the adoption process – as well as just the basic joy of getting ready for a new brother.  This included everything from having him help paint the new baby room, to talking to him about all the adoption updates and having him help setup a first birthday celebration for Noah – even though his baby brother was 5,000 miles away. My wife and I also read all the books that Holt suggested for toddler adoption.

Even though it seemed like a millennium, we received our travel call in October of 2011.  All three of us were so excited!  Even though we went to Korea to pick up Nate the first time, we were especially excited this time because we could take Nate back to his country of origin – and he also had the opportunity to meet his foster mother!

Holt International, and specifically Holt Korea, was incredibly supportive and efficient throughout the process.  This became even more evident when we arrived in Korea.  The day after arriving, we received a call from Holt Korea that Noah had been admitted to the hospital with pneumonia. At the time, we were not sure how severe his condition was or if we could even take him home.  But within a day, Holt Korea gave us an update and arranged for us to visit Noah in the hospital as he recovered.

DJ, Holt Korea’s incredible family representative, made all the arrangements so we could visit Noah.  However, she said it would be a few days before we could see him. The wait was excruciating.  There was no way to truly mentally prepare for what was to come.  Would we really be able to see him in the hospital?  How sick was he?  Would we be able to take him home?  The unknown was so difficult to deal with.  All we could do as a family was try to stay positive and pray for the best.

Three days later, we arrived at the Children’s Hospital in Seoul.  It was so nerve-wracking, but DJ escorted us the whole way, always reassuring us.  As soon we walked in the room, we saw Noah sitting in the middle of a hospital bed with an IV in his arm.  It was so surreal – heartbreaking and exciting all at the same time.

We felt so bad for him as he was obviously quite sick.  He lethargically clung to his foster mother as she tried to entertain him amongst the IV tubes and medical equipment.  However, the immediate love we felt was undeniable and, although we would have to wait a week, his full recovery was the most important thing.

It was also comforting to see he was being well taken care of.  His foster mother had been at his bedside the whole time, and the room was actually filled with a sense of serenity and even happiness.  There were about 6 other children in the same room, and they all had visitors of their own.  Even though nobody spoke English, everyone was very supportive.  They made us feel comfortable and enjoyed watching us interact with Noah.  It was quite difficult to leave Noah that day, but the whole experience was quite positive and enabled us to cope with the situation.  DJ continually reassured us with updates throughout the week, offering a chaperone anytime we wanted to visit Noah until he was fully recovered.

A week after we arrived in Korea, we were finally able to pick up Noah from the Holt facility.  “Gotcha Day” was an incredible experience.  We were able to spend quality time with Noah’s foster mother.  She was so gracious as she talked about Noah.  She told us everything we would ever want to know about him, such as his favorite foods, he favorite things to do, how to comfort him, etc.  She even gave us some of his favorite toys and a photo album documenting the first 15 months of his life.  We were overjoyed that we could finally take Noah home.  But it was obvious that Noah had formed a tremendous bond with his foster mother.  The difficulty of saying goodbye was heart-wrenching, as we could see how much Noah’s foster mother loved him.

Brothers Noah (left) and Nate Tiernan.

Once we were settled again at the hotel, we had a couple of days before our flight back to the U.S. These two days were filled with extreme highs and extreme lows.  Understandably, Noah was very upset when we first got back. For several hours, he would periodically look at the hotel door, crying for his foster mother. The only person who could comfort him was me. As he did not immediately take to his new mother, consoling him became quite difficult – not only for Noah, but also for my wife.  She wanted so bad to hold her new son and comfort him. She felt helpless.

However, there were times when Noah would relax and his natural jovial nature shined through. It was quite infectious as he played and interacted with all of us.  He especially liked to run around with Nate, and was absolutely fascinated with the hotel phone.  He actually slept with it in his arms that first night!

Given that Noah was 15 months old when he arrived home, the adjustment process has been quite challenging – at times, for the whole family.  For the first few months, Noah could only be comforted by me and he would have severe night terrors – waking up in the middle of the night, not knowing where he was and virtually inconsolable.  It was also quite an adjustment for our older son, Nate.  An instant brother was a little difficult to deal with at times, but Nate cherished the role of trying to be a big brother. Over the last six months, they have solidified their sibling bond.

Since coming home there have been many ups and downs in regards to Noah’s health.  Since his bout with pneumonia in Korea he has had three visits to the E.R. with similar symptoms.  Fortunately, his sicknesses have not manifested into full-blown pneumonia and, with proper care and medications, his health is relatively sound.

Six months later, with Holt’s support – and our family’s continuous showering of love over Noah – we are a family of four with an unbreakable bond.  In most accounts, Noah has fully assimilated into the family, especially in regards to his bond with his mother.  It took a few months, but Noah not only enjoys being around Mommy, he even seeks her out for comfort or companionship. He likes to make believe that she’s coming when it is outside fun time.  Noah also exhibits adoration as well as jealousy for his new big brother.  It’s amazing to see them play and bicker like any other brothers would and to see their relationship blossom in just 6 months.  Although the first few months were extremely challenging and the adjustment was difficult, the reward of seeing our two sons begin to form a lifelong bond is pure enjoyment.

Noah is flourishing with two loving parents and a big brother who adores him.

Korea is now accepting applications from prospective families! Click here to learn more about eligibility, timeframes and the children now coming home to families from Korea.

by Agnes Wells

Bob with Jane, Agnes with Margot.

In 2002, we adopted our older daughter, Jane, from China at the age of nine months.  She was a healthy infant, and she made us perfectly happy.  When we decided the time was right to increase the size of our family, we chose to adopt again from China. Because our experience had been so positive the first time, we also decided to adopt again through Holt.

When we began the process the second time, we decided to adopt a 2 to 3-year-old so that there would not be such a great age difference between our two children.  As the standard process took longer and longer, we asked for a 3 to 5-year-old girl.  We were not open to a child with many disabilities, but we did look into the special needs option and put our names on that list.

We got information about a couple of different children, but felt no pressure to choose any child who was not right for our family.  Finally, after our dossier had been in China for four and a half years, we received a call about the child who would become our second daughter, Margot. She was 6 and a half at the time (Jane was 9 and a half), and her disability was that she had delayed speech and was sometimes difficult to understand.

Other than that, she was perfectly healthy.

We played “catch-up” with the paperwork, some of which had expired, but everyone was really helpful. We traveled to China in late February of 2011.  This time, instead of being part of a group of several families, we were the only ones adopting through Holt.

The Holt team in China took very good care of us and was always around when we needed them. We had been given information that Margot had been in foster care, which was true, but we discovered when we met her that it had only been for a short time when she was a baby.  The orphanage director said that she left foster care and returned to the orphanage because “it was not a good foster family.”  He did not elaborate.  I was worried that she would have a difficult time adjusting to living with a family, as is common among children who have grown up in institutions.  Margot’s adjustment, however, has been a lot easier than I thought. She is a kind and sweet child. She gives us hugs and kisses. She likes to read and play and snuggle.  She does get mad with her parents and fight with her sister, just like any other child.

Agnes with Margot.

Since we have been back, Margot has gone to public school. She is in English as a Second Language classes, and her English is getting better every day. We have found through routine testing that she has astigmatism in one eye, so she now wears glasses.  Also, she has slight hearing loss in one ear, which may account for the delayed speech.  She now wears a hearing aid in that ear, and her speech has become much clearer.

Margot does exhibit some behavior that may have to do with having been in an institution for six years. She is really rough with books and toys although she loves them.  She and Jane get along, but they also fight like any other sisters.

All in all, this has been such a positive experience for our family and one I would not trade for the world.

Jane (left) and Margot with a moose.

Things I had feared about adopting an older child – fighting, screaming, sobbing – did not come to pass.  Our life is not perfect; it was difficult to bring someone who was school-aged into a family that had been functioning just fine for nine years.  I must say that I was very slack when it came to doing research about adopting an older child.  I didn’t read many articles or any blogs about it.  I just figured that we would pull through and we have.  It must have been so frustrating for her to have such a hard time communicating for all those months, but Margot has come so far.  We can understand almost everything she says now and she understands us completely.

During the past year, she has even taught herself how to swim, jump off the diving board, and ride a bicycle!

My husband and I would absolutely recommend adopting an older child to anyone who is thinking about it.  It was easier than our first adoption by far. Even though she didn’t speak English, Margot was able at 6 and a half to understand and cooperate a lot more than Jane — at 9 months — had been able to when we first adopted her. We sent Margot a letter and photos before we went to pick her up, and when we arrived in China, she understood what was happening and had been prepped for us. With Jane, because she was 9 months old, she could understand that she was being handed to these strange people. But she didn’t know why, and was really upset. Also, because we had adopted once before from China with Holt, we knew more of what to expect — although some things had changed in 9 years!

Margot has brought so much joy to our lives!  Right before we left for China, a neighbor of ours who had adopted a baby domestically and then a 3-year-old from Ethiopia said, “The second year is easier than the first!”

If that’s true, we’re in for smooth sailing.

Interested in learning more about Holt’s China program and adopting a child with special needs? Click here to visit our China pages online. 

How to enter:

-        Qualified applications must be foreigners (to Korea); no age limit.

-        Make a video clip no longer than 3 minutes describing why you love Korea. (The video may be made with any device, such as a cellphone, digital camera, video camera, or digital device).  *English or Korean submissions are preferred.

-        Upload your video to YouTube or other legal video-sharing website

-        Email the completed application form to culturemofat@gmail.com or culturemofat@mofat.go.kr

Contest runs through March 1-May 20, 2012 (12 weeks)

* If the video is not filmed in English or Korean, please include a complete description written in English or Korean along with your application.

Individual winners will be announced on June 11, 2012.

Date of Birth: April 1, 2005

A little over a year ago, Holt social worker Marissa Leuallen visited a little boy waiting for a family in southeastern China. Here’s what she had to say about Dean*, then 6:

“I didn’t spend much time with him, but he was always smiling (very cute smile), clearly a bright and engaging child who is adored by his foster mom. She was the one who bragged about how they read the bible together and his ability to recite passages. He’s not at all fazed by his medical condition and was throwing around a ball like it was nobody’s business. He had a sparkle in his eyes (and those cute blue glasses) that I still remember, and it’s been a year!”

Last month, Dean turned 7 – and he is still waiting for a family. This, Marissa finds hard to fathom.

“He’s the kind of little boy you just want to pick up and squeeze,” she says. “I really can’t believe he has not found a family yet.”

Dean* was found abandoned on August 3, 2005, then about 4 months old. He spent a year at the local social welfare institute before joining a foster family at nearly a year and a half. In his foster family, he has grown into an active, talkative and confident boy. His foster mother says he likes learning and has a good memory. He loves basketball, soccer and playing the piano. Art is his favorite subject.

Energetic and happy, Dean can also be somewhat hyperactive, which makes it hard for him to pay attention in school. But he responds to questions asked of him and follows directions well.

Due to a congenital deformity in his left arm, Dean can’t use his left hand. He also has vision loss in his right eye and weakness in his left. With corrective lenses, however, he sees well. Dean’s “disabilities” do not seem to disable Dean much at all; his vision loss does not interfere with his daily life, and he has good motor skills, allowing him to accomplish tasks independently.

“We believe that Dean is a smart, active and lovely child,” write his social workers at the social welfare institute. “We hope that he could be adopted by a loving foreign family who is able to give him a good education and nurture him to grow happily and healthily.”

This is also what we hope for Dean.

An active family with older boys would be ideal for this energetic young man. His adoptive family should also have access to developmental resources that will help him reach his full potential.

For more information about Dean, please contact Erin Mower at erinm@holtinternational.org.

* name changed