DOB: 8/1/01 and 3/3/02, Jilin, China

by Robin Munro, Senior Writer

Shen Ying (left) and Shen Jia (right) grew up together as foster brothers.

Two years ago, in November of 2009, we received the following email from Sue Liu, Holt’s (beloved) office manager in Beijing:

Two weeks ago, I went to Jilin (province) where we have had a foster care program for three years. I met three boys whose files are in the CCAA now… All their information has been released many times online, but, for some reason, they have not been matched. All these boys have very good personalities, they like to help others, like to share, like to go to school and get along well with other kids.

All three of the boys were older, and two of them – Shen Ying* and Shen Jia* – grew up together in the same foster home. About these two boys, Sue wrote:

I saw them at their foster home, and both of their foster parents were at home also. They are very close to their foster parents, especially their foster mom. They told me they just call their foster mom “Mom”, and foster dad “Dad”. Every day, after school, their foster mom stays with them and watches them finish their homework. Then they have dinner together. Then, they go walking. All the people think they are a family. Shen Jia and Shen Ying are very good friends, and they call each other “brother.” They are good at math. Like all the boys, they love to play with cars and so one.

At the end of her email, she wrote that she would visit them again soon. She also asked us to help advocate for their adoption, writing, “I do hope we can find families for them, Please!!!”

In March, she wrote again, inquiring about our progress in finding families for these boys. No luck so far.

The following summer, in July of 2010, I traveled to Jilin province with Sue Liu and Jessica Palmer, Holt’s waiting child program manager. Here, we met Shen Ying and Shen Jia. In the months since Sue first wrote about the boys, she had visited them again several times, and they had grown very fond of each other. Upon seeing her, Shen Ying and Shen Jia – dressed exactly alike in matching striped Polo shirts – ran up to Sue and threw their arms around her. They then ran off to play with the other children in the room.

Shen Ying in December 2011.

It was a sweet, sincere moment.

Although not biological brothers, the two boys resembled each other. A year apart in age – one 8, one 9 – they both had telltale scars on their upper lip from cleft lip and palate surgery. Both abandoned within days after they were born, they came to live at the same social welfare institute before joining the same foster family. They had a lot in common, and they grew up, as Sue said, calling each other “brother.”

During our visit, they showed distinct differences in their personalities as well. Although both friendly and exuberant, the older of the two – Shen Ying – seemed a bit more outgoing and expressive. He took more interest in us, and hammed it up, using the props at his disposal – a humongous stuffed bear, a scarf, a long tube – to make us laugh. The younger brother, Shen Jia, kept more to himself.  In child reports, social workers describe Shen Jia as independent, “inner-directed,” disciplined and athletic. They describe Shen Ying as talkative, polite and “good at imitation.” Both boys are described as intelligent, quick learners and diligent, enthusiastic students.

Their foster mom, a warm, youthful woman with long, shiny black hair, also came along for the visit. She seemed proud of her foster sons, and shared with us that they are both their teachers’ favorites in their 2^nd and 3^rd grade classes. They are, she said, very popular with the other children, have excellent manners and help at home. They also sometimes fight “as brothers do.”

“Does he know anyone who’s been adopted?” Jessica asked Sue of Shen Ying, standing nearby.

A photo of Shen Jia from Abbie's recent visit, in December 2011.

Sue then turned the question to Shen Ying, who through translation told us that he loves his foster mother very much, but knows he may be adopted someday.

As we were about to leave, the brothers ran up to hug all of us goodbye – including Jessica and I. They seemed like such good-hearted, intelligent boys, and they left a strong impression on both of us.

A week later, we returned to Oregon and immediately stepped up our efforts to advocate for their adoption. We featured them in the Waiting Child photolisting and on the Holt blog.

But again, no luck. No family. A year passed, and the boys turned 9 and 10.

In December, Abbie Smith – Holt Director of Clinical Services – returned from a trip to China. While there, she also had the chance to visit Shen Ying and Shen Jia and assess their potential for adoption. She visited them at home, with their foster mother at their side.

Her impressions of the two boys reinforced our earlier impressions. She describes Shen Jia as more athletic and less emotionally expressive than his brother. “He acknowledged that his brother is better at relationships,” says Abbie. “He’s better at sports.” She says they seemed very close and accepting of each other, and both expressed the desire to join the same adoptive family.

When the topic of adoption came up, Shen Ying would tear up and briefly leave the room. He feels sad about leaving his foster mother. His brother, meanwhile, was less expressive in his feelings about leaving China, and seemed more resigned.

“Their foster mother wants to stay in touch with the boys after their adoption and it was clear that they want to stay in touch with her,” writes Abbie, who recommends finding a family who “can support their love for their foster mother while they are learning to love their forever family.”

I recently asked Jessica what she remembers about them. “I remember they were super sweet boys, active but not overly so, as active as you would guess for an 8-year-old boy,” she said. “I remember they played well with the other younger kids, and were very attached to their foster mom.”

Without a doubt, Shen Ying and Shen Jia have charmed all of us. They are sweethearts who deserve a family to love and support them in all their endeavors, throughout their lives. Two years after Sue first wrote that pleading email, they are “for some reason” — unknown to us — still waiting.

Who wouldn’t love to raise these boys?

Shen Ying and Shen Jia need a family who can  provide them with access to a craniofacial team to follow-up with speech therapy and further surgeries they will most likely need. Their family should also have experience with adoption and parenting past their ages.

To learn more about Shen Ying and Shen Jia, contact Erin Mower at erinm@holtinternational.org.

* names changed

DOB: April 27, 1998

Sichuan Province, China

In April, Ian will turn 14 and become ineligible for international adoption from China. Eligible and interested families should immediately contact their agency. Holt families should contact Jessica Palmer at jessicap@holtinternational.org. See eligibility requirements below.*

Ian (name changed) entered institutional care when he was 4 years old, in May of 2002. A healthy boy with a “sunny” disposition, Ian was also rather quiet upon admission and tended to stand back and observe his surroundings. At the institute, caregivers quickly enrolled him in a program to help him adjust to his new environment. Here, he got along well with his classmates, and quickly became more talkative and active in the group. The following year, he began primary school near his home at the child welfare institute. He became a diligent student who listened well, eagerly answered questions in class, and regularly completed his homework after school. His teachers all liked him a great deal.

After five years in the institute, Ian went to live with a foster family in July of 2007. Then 9, Ian developed a loving bond with this family, in whose care he continued to grow strong and healthy. He developed a taste for spicy food, honed his basketball skills, and became interested in computer games and remote control toys, as well as drawing and playing the guitar. Described as bright and extroverted, Ian has many friends. His foster mom describes him as “sensible and good.”

Now 13, Ian is in junior high school. He is a serious student with grades that always put him at the head of the class.

Although close to his foster family, Ian understands that his situation is not permanent. Initially, he felt fearful of going to a new place – of feeling lonely, and missing his foster family and friends – but he has grown to understand what it means to join an adoptive family, and now embraces the idea of international adoption.

*Ian has less than four months before he turns 14, at which time he will become ineligible for adoption. Due to the short timeframe to adopt, families must already have a dossier in China or have adopted from China within the past year and have a current USCIS 1800A approval. An ideal family for Ian will have parented past his age and also have previous adoption experience.

Yvonne is today’s featured waiting child.

Date of Birth: 7/1/05

From China

Yvonne* is a polite and friendly girl.  “She likes to be tidy and beautiful,” said a visiting social worker.  “So many times I saw her combing her hair.”

For the past year, Yvonne has lived in a group home in Hebei, China, where she gets to experience family life in the care of a foster mother and father.

Although Yvonne has Down syndrome, she is described as “high functioning” for her condition.  In the group home, she has taken on a big sister role and often helps her foster mom care for the younger children.  Now 6 years old, she can read over 50 Chinese characters and count and write from 1 to 10.

Yvonne loves to perform and has natural grace.  She was chosen to be the dance leader at her orphanage preschool. When she completes a project, she loves sharing it with her foster mom, and basking in her praise.  Although she can be stubborn at times, Yvonne mostly listens and follows directions well.

Yvonne would most thrive in a family that is comfortable and prepared to parent a child with Down syndrome, and to help her manage the transition and learn another language. Previous adoption experience is preferred.

For more information about Yvonne, contact Erin Mower at erinm@holtinternational.org.

National Adoption Month is underway! Join our campaign to advocate for older children, children with special needs and boys…

Every weekday throughout November, Holt will feature a different waiting child on Holt’s blog. Repost the child’s story on Facebook and Twitter, print prayer cards to guide prayers for the featured children, and/or download a bulletin insert to share at church.

For more info on how you an help change the conversation this November, click here.

*name changed

 Born on November 5th, 2000, China

When asked about the possibility of having a family of her own someday, 11-year-old Leann put it simply: “I would be agreeable to this,” she says. “I want a family so I can grow up happily like other kids.”

In March 2009, Leann was found on the steps of a social welfare institute. After attempts to locate her parents failed, Leann was brought into Holt’s care and eventually into the arms of a loving foster family. Here, she waits for a forever family.

Extroverted, polite and kind, Leann enjoys spending time with her foster mother and helping with chores around the house. She gets along well with her classmates and is said to be very popular and friendly.

Since coming into care, it’s been noted that Leann has developmental delays and a poor memory. She needs a family with access to academic and developmental resources — a family to help her meet her potential!

“I want a family so that I can grow up happily like other kids.”

We want this for you too, Leann.

Please help Leann find a family.

For more information about Leann, please contact erinm@holtinternational.org.

David is today’s featured waiting child.

Date of Birth: 10/1/2008

From China

This 3-year-old cutie is a genuine sweetheart.

When he was about 7 days old, David* came to live at an orphanage in Northern China.  An energetic and playful little boy, he likes to dance to music in his crib.  Sometimes, his caregivers say, he will dance so hard that his crib moves across the room to the window – about 6.5-feet!  David gets very excited when he plays, and loves to chase after balls.

David is a softy and loves to be cuddled by caregivers. During downtime, he will sit quietly, often holding hands with his little friends.

Upon admittance, David was diagnosed with a urogenital malformation and he may need surgery in the future.  David would most thrive in a family comfortable parenting a child with special needs, and capable of providing specialized medical attention and therapeutic resources.

For more information about David, please contact erinm@holtinternational.org.

* name changed

The Hong family throws a traditional Korean “Dol” party for Tyler's fourth birthday.

“There were times when I thought maybe it would never happen. But I had faith that the perfect child for our family was out there.” — Susan Hong, Holt adoptive mom

Last April, Holt adoptive parents Susan and Tony Hong shared their adoption story with the Orange County Register, a newspaper in Southern California. Their story is typical of many of the families Holt’s China team has matched with children in recent years. In 2007, they applied to adopt a daughter. But when they learned the wait for a healthy, infant girl had increased to upwards of 5 years, they changed their plans, opening their hearts to a child of either gender — as well as a minor, correctable special need.

Two days later, they were matched with Tyler, a little boy with clubfeet.

“Tyler was 3-years-old at the time, and older than what we had originally requested, but after seeing his picture and reading his profile, we felt like this was the child who was meant for us all along and we were very excited about meeting him,” Susan Hong told the Register reporter.

The Hongs are now in process to adopt their second child, this time from Korea.

Click here to read the full story in the Orange County Register.

Help advocate for more children with special needs and older children this November, during National Adoption Month!  Click here for ideas and resources.

By Maggi YiJu Liebetrau

Maggi reconnects with her foster family on a Holt heritage tour

Traveling to China was an eye-opening experience. I had the opportunity to see my birth country, learn about the Chinese culture and experience the friendliness and openness of the Chinese people. Most were curious about why 23 Chinese girls were in a large group with Caucasians. But when it was explained that we were adopted and the Caucasians were our parents, most of the people were excited for us. Experiencing the Chinese traditions was exiting. I went to a market in my home city and saw how ordinary people make a living by selling cooked food, fresh fruits and vegetables, livestock, and clothing. In America, we don’t see something that big and productive every day.

The country itself is big and beautiful. We went to the countryside and saw the mountains. I liked seeing some of the famous tourist sites, like the Great Wall and the Forbidden City. But I really enjoyed seeing the sites that weren’t so well known. We attended a foreign language school and took a couple classes with the students there. I was surprised to see that the schools are so different than they are in the United States. I enjoyed seeing the students’ reactions to Americans coming to their school. They spoke very good English and Chinese.

Going back to Mother’s Love, my orphanage, in Nanning was very touching. I saw the old building where I was taken care of for a couple months before moving to a foster home. We were the last group to go the orphanage before it was to be torn down. It is sad to know that my orphanage will no longer be there, but brand new buildings for all the homeless children and disabled orphans are there for the children to grow up in.

I was fortunate enough to get to meet my foster parents. That made me really happy. They were happy to have me come back and meet them. They told lots of stories and gave me a picture of my foster mother and me on the day I was adopted – a special memory that I will never forget. I now feel more complete about where I came from and know who touched my life before I was adopted and brought to the United States.

If you are considering joining next year’s tour, I would recommend it. It’s a great experience. I feel more at peace with myself, and I can say I’ve seen China at it’s very best. Holt was really good to us and we were treated with only the best.

I not only made lifelong friends – friends who truly understand what I’ve been through as an adoptee — but I made lifelong memories too.

Interested in traveling on one of next year’s Heritage tours to China? Contact Lisle Veach at lislev@holtinternational.org for more information and to be put on an interest list. Hope to see you next summer!

by Robin Munro, Senior Writer

Before you became a “grown up,” how did you envision your future?

Did you see yourself with two kids, one kid, no kids?  A daughter and a son?  Two daughters?  Three boys? Did you imagine a life of adventure, solo and free, or a life of domestic bliss, surrounded by family?

At some point, did your plans change?

Maybe you changed.  Maybe your circumstances changed.  Either way, it can be hard to let go of the future you envisioned for yourself.  But when you do, you might be pleasantly surprised by the future that awaits you.

When adoptive parents Diane and Troy Sturgeon let go of the dream daughter they always envisioned, they finally found their happy ending – in Aiden.

“After close to 15 years of waiting, we had certain expectations,” Diane wrote in an article for the summer 2011 Holt magazine.  “We’d waited this long, we wanted the ‘perfect,’ healthy baby girl – shiny black hair in pig tails, a Cupid’s-bow mouth, and dark, almond-shaped eyes.  Well, we DID get our perfect child, the perfect child for us.  That child just happens to be a boy and happens to have some special needs.”

The Sturgeons’ story is typical of many adoptive families in recent years.  They hear upsetting statistics about girls abandoned in China, and approach Holt hoping to adopt a little girl.  Their minds are set.  They want a girl. Then they learn some surprising facts.  They learn that just as many boys wait for families in China.  That because so many families want girls, boys actually wait longer — in EVERY country.  They learn that many of these boys have special needs.  And that what’s considered “special needs” can be as minor as a birthmark or missing fingers.

They also learn that it now takes an average of five years to adopt a healthy, infant girl from China.

Gradually, and sometimes sorrowfully, they let go of the “perfect, healthy baby girl” they always imagined.  And they open their hearts to the perfect child they never even knew their future held.

“Aiden is an amazing child with a gentle soul and a beautiful sense of humor,” writes Diane.  He also has complete hearing loss in his right ear.  “But what childhood,” she astutely asks, “is completely free from surprises or struggles?”

Meet Kyle*.

Kyle turned 2 on June 28^th.  At just one month old, Kyle was found by policemen, determined abandoned, and sent to live in an orphanage in China.  He had pneumonia, and abnormal motion of his right limbs.  With nurturing care, he recovered from the pneumonia.  But a CT scan showed abnormal softening of his brain.  The doctor diagnosed Kyle with hemiplegia – or paralysis of the muscles on the right side of his body – and recommended rehabilitative training.

With rehabilitation, Kyle has overcome many of his early struggles.  His most recent child report states that his physical growth and development is now on par with his peers!

Kyle is a cuddly little guy with big, round, curious eyes and an extroverted personality.  He now lives with a foster family, to whom he’s grown very attached.  He loves to explore, actively responds when people engage him, and takes quick notice of changes in his surroundings.  He likes music and games, brightly colored toys that make noise, and imitating sounds and words.  He is especially happy when others pick him up and hold him.

Kyle also happens to be a boy and he happens to have some special needs.  But for one hopeful family, he might just be the perfect child they never knew their future held — and they the perfect family for Kyle!

This spirited toddler would do best in a family that has the resources for any medical care he may need and is open to some unknowns.

For more information about Kyle, please contact Erin Mower at erinm@holtinternational.org.

*name changed

by Jennifer Skipper

Meili, before her surgery to correct her cleft lip and palate.

A year ago, Marc and I had to fill out the hardest piece of paperwork for our adoption: the form that listed all of the “special needs” we would be willing to knowingly accept in our child. I prayed and prayed over that sheet. It was SO hard. In the end, after many discussions with the Lord and my husband, there was only one condition that Marc and I didn’t agree on. Cleft lip/palate. Marc said a firm and confident, “Yes.” I said, “I just can’t do it.” I knew in my heart that my reason was simple: vanity. I knew my reason was wrong and yet I couldn’t check that box having the reservations and fears that I had. I knew I had to have the perfect peace that only God gives on each condition I checked; I wanted to have it on this condition, but I didn’t.

Fast forward four months, and I felt like we needed to take another look at that form. I asked God why I had to revisit it. It was hard enough the first time. But I couldn’t get it off my mind that there was something we needed to add to the form. I just couldn’t imagine what it was.

Around that time, a billboard popped up on the freeway at the exit to my home. The billboard had a gigantic face of a baby on it with bilateral, complete cleft lip. It was an ad for Smile Train. I looked at that face. The deformity was so big and, to be honest, unattractive to me. I really hate to say it, but I had to look away. That billboard was in a location that I couldn’t get away from. I was forced to look at it over and over again. It was such an issue for me that I had to pray about it: “God,” I said, “please help me. My heart is now right! I know that is Your child. Help me to see this child through Your eyes.” And so I prayed and prayed…and prayed.

Over time, God changed my heart. He cleaned out my sinful thoughts and replaced them with His thoughts. He said to me:

“Jennifer, that is my child and I don’t make mistakes. She is a beautiful, beautiful girl in every way. Her lip isn’t ugly; It’s just different from a lot of other peoples. The world looks at her lip. I look at her heart. Please love her like I love her. Please be different from the world. These kids need love. And besides Jennifer, you know you ain’t no beauty queen yourself. Should I remind you of your characteristics that the world sees as flaws?”

Oh, how humbling.

It was at this point in the adoption journey that I began looking at blogs of other families who had adopted. I came upon one girl who was about to be adopted. She had repaired cleft lip.

Something about her caught my heart. I thought to myself, “Look at her. She is a precious child of God.” I thought she was beautiful. If my agency had asked me to adopt her, would I say no? No! I would have said, “Yes! She is precious!”

Then, the unthinkable happened. God gave me this intense desire to adopt a baby with a cleft lip/palate. I just had that amazing peace about this condition and that it would be a perfect fit for our family. Because we had so many other conditions checked on that infamous form, I figured we probably wouldn’t get that particular condition.

Three days later our agency called with Meili’s information. She had a cleft lip and palate. We accepted the referral.

My first two thoughts when I first met Meili were: tiny and adorable.

Can’t you see God in this? He had totally changed my heart. When I saw her, I didn’t even see her lip. I saw her beauty.

After one week with Meili, I started struggling with the thought of surgery. Why? Why would we ever let her have surgery? I had to have an answer. I just couldn’t do it because everyone expected us to. And to me, there was no reason to. She was perfect. God made her lip the way it was and he didn’t make mistakes. She was perfect. I couldn’t put her through surgery without a reason. Reluctantly, I shared these feelings with Marc. He said he had been thinking the exact same thing. I imagined the looks people would give me when I told them we weren’t going to fix it. I didn’t care. Finally, after a few long weeks of processing all of this, seemingly out of the blue, the reason to do the surgery came to me: I think that she would want us to have it fixed for her.

And that brings us to tonight, the eve of her surgery. Tomorrow at noon she will be going into the operating room for a four-hour surgery to repair her cleft lip. People have asked if I am excited for her to have this surgery. My answer is, “No.” I know it must sound silly to say, but I am going to miss her cleft lip. It’s her. I think it’s cute. God has used it and this amazing little girl to change me for the better. As you can see, her cleft lip has been a big deal for me. When God works on your heart — and you can see and feel the transformation that only He can do — it’s a big deal.

Thank you God for all that you have taught me through my daughter’s cleft lip. Thank you for humbling me. Thank you for helping me to see people more through your eyes and giving me the privilege of calling Meili my daughter. Thank you for being a God who doesn’t make mistakes and who made her perfectly in your image. What a gift she is to us, every piece of her. Thank you for making our path to her clear. If I could have picked any child to come home with us, I would pick her over and over again. God, I praise you for her! Thank you.

Click here to learn more about adopting a child from China

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