What compels veteran adoptive parents to adopt again?

For us, it was a sense of incompletion. Despite our best efforts to proliferate the Earth with children – we had five at the time of our second adoption – we still felt our family wasn’t quite complete. After a year home with our [...]]]> by Sean Yarger

What compels veteran adoptive parents to adopt again?

For us, it was a sense of incompletion. Despite our best efforts to proliferate the Earth with children – we had five at the time of our second adoption – we still felt our family wasn’t quite complete. After a year home with our first adopted daughter, Ava, we weren’t even settled yet. But then my wife April found a face – just a face on Holt’s photolisting of a girl in the Journey of Hope China program. She knew, one day, they’d be united.

That’s how strong and immediate the connection can be. It was just a matter of convincing me to adopt again.

After bringing Ava home, we quickly realized that we were getting a little old to manage such a large family – especially with an energetic toddler still in diapers. If we adopted again, we knew the child would have to be a little older.

April showed me the photolisting bio of the 8-year-old cutie she hoped to adopt. I admire my wife’s big heart and, trusting she’d already considered all possible ramifications of introducing another child into the family, I agreed. By now accustomed to a family in constant growth, our kids also mostly took the idea in stride. After the high-energy experience of Ava, however, they were definitely relieved to find out we were planning to adopt an older child.

We’d done it… We had decided to adopt again.

This time, however, the proverbial cart was in front of the proverbial horse. Rather than do the paper chase and then wait to be matched, we’d already matched ourselves with this girl. We felt a real sense of urgency, knowing this little girl in China was awaiting an imminent adoption. We wanted to get to her as quickly as possible. I imagined a giant looming clock with an incessantly ticking second hand.

Let the freak-out commence.

We hadn’t even begun another dossier, nor had we any experience with the new Hague process, so we were decidedly apprehensive about what was to come. What did come almost made us throw in the towel. Notably:

1. Selecting a child does not guarantee a match with that child. We would have to submit to paperwork and interviews to prove that we not only understood what we were getting into with an older child, but that we had the resources and support to help her adjust to life in America. It was highly possible, we also learned, that one or more families would request the same child.

2. Adoption law in our state precluded us from reusing our former home study, which we had just completed in our final post-placement visit. What should have cost us nothing cost us $2,500!

3. We launched a fundraising campaign for the dossier and China fees. To give back to our donors, we held a raffle with some tangible items they had donated. Consequently, our online payment provider cut off our account! This set us back weeks while we worked it out.

These are just a few of the small setbacks that nearly cost us our sanity. But through prayer and the thought of this deserving child in China, we persevered.

Some time ago, a wise man told me that God rewards leaps of faith. Adopting again was among the best decisions we’ve ever made.

On October 25th, 2010, we gathered as a group of families in the Adoption Registry Center of Guangdong Province. Within minutes, our daughters were introduced to us. We’d dreamed about them, we’d had imaginary conversations with them, we’d adorned our shelves and computers with their pictures, we’d prepared their room, their closet, their suitcase. We’d loved them from the moment we knew they were our daughters. Here now, unceremoniously delivered, were our daughters.

Bai Jie Ya, now Gemma, uttered her first words to us in English through an ear-to-ear smile: “Hello, my name is Gemma. Nice to meet you.” To say the joy was indescribable is an understatement.

While Gemma’s Orphan Visa processed – a requisite and time-consuming step – we spent the time in Guangzhou getting to know Gemma as best we could. Our journey is chronicled in depth at http://myadoptionwebsite.com/ourgemma/.

Our experience with Gemma was much more positive than stories we’d heard about other older child adoptions. Holt very methodically helps older children separate from their known world and prepare for an international adoption. Among other things, they learn about cultural differences between China and America, what it means to be part of a forever family, how to cope, and very importantly, how to say goodbye. Holt was definitely the right agency to partner with in this endeavor.

From the outset, we were able to interact with Gemma, even if mostly one-way. We were allowed to ask her questions and send her things. Several times we had letters translated to send along with gifts, which Holt verified she received. We were even able to send video footage of an ordinary day in the life of our family.

The net result: Gemma came to us well adjusted and ready to go. She experienced only minor grief while in China, and little to none once home in America. We have gone to great lengths to continue her heritage experience, including Mandarin classes once a week and frequent visits with Cantonese and Mandarin-speaking friends. I would encourage anybody considering adopting an older Chinese child to strike up conversations with Chinese people you meet prior to traveling. Ours have rapidly become generous and helpful friends, enabling Gemma to fully express herself through translation. It also enabled us to take care of the important items, such as learning about her preferences for food and sleeping arrangements, the kind of student we can expect, and working on certain corrections in her manners.

We don’t expect any new real surprises out of Gemma. Like everyone, she has personality quirks. Our chief concern was her ability to express love, gratitude and other emotions in a healthy way. In China, I worried that I might actually face some attachment problems with Gemma. Ava had attached to me immediately, but it took Gemma a while to warm up. I now understand that this is a cultural difference between China and America. Chinese people do not show affection the same way Americans do. Once aware that it’s wholly acceptable here, many will definitely show affection. Gemma delights in spontaneously saying, “I love you,” and frequently gives hugs and kisses. Now instead of one daughter tackling me at the knees when I come in the door, I have two, and I’m in love with these beautiful girls from across the sea.

If you are considering adopting an older child from China, don’t delay the decision any longer. There are all too many of them and they want and need you now. You and your child will be blessed in ways you can’t yet imagine.

Give a Gift of Hope to a child in honor of your loving father!

Remember this. . .

What are little boys made of? Snips and snails and puppy dog tails. That’s what little boys are made of!

What are little girls made of? Sugar and spice and all things nice. That’s what little girls are made of.

As a woman who was once a little girl, I admit, [...]]]> by Sally Dougherty, Family Relations Director

Remember this. . .

What are little boys made of?
Snips and snails and puppy dog tails.
That’s what little boys are made of!

What are little girls made of?
Sugar and spice and all things nice.
That’s what little girls are made of.

As a woman who was once a little girl, I admit, it’s not so bad to be described as “all things nice.”

But as an advocate for homeless children, I can’t help but seek a different nursery rhyme – one that highlights all the wondrous stuff of which boys are made.

Several years ago, word spread like wildfire about the need for families to adopt from China, where thousands of girls were being abandoned as an unintended consequence of the country’s one-child policy.

Today, this perception persists – a perception that girls need families more than boys.

But it’s a false perception.

In truth, there is a very strong need for families to adopt boys. As most families pursuing international adoption assume girls are in greater need, the most common request is for a girl.

This assumption has created another unintended consequence: today, boys often wait longer for families than girls.

This month, I’d like to introduce you to a couple of families who adopted boys. And I’d like to introduce you to one very special boy on Holt’s Waiting Child photolisting. He only has five months to find a family! Click here to read his story.

On Thursday, June 9th, join us for the webinar “Adopting from China” where the McBride family will share about their decision, experience, and joy in adopting their son, Wyeth, through Holt’s China Child of Promise Option.

Then, on Tuesday, June 14th, join us for “Adopting from Africa” where you’ll hear from the Black family who adopted their son, Addisu, from Holt’s Ethiopia program.

If you’re new to international adoption, I highly recommend the webinar “Holt Adoption 101,” which is scheduled for the 8th and 22nd. Holt’s intake social worker and adoption counselor will share about Holt’s unique, child-centered approach to international adoption, discuss program timeframes and eligibility, and answer your questions throughout.

Click the button below to view and register for the full webinar schedule for June.

I look forward to seeing you online.  To begin the adoption process now, apply online.

Five years ago, Celia was abandoned at a hospital in China and brought to an orphanage. Celia, one of Holt’s precious Waiting Children, had a congenital foot abnormality — she was missing the front part of her foot.

Today, more than 50% of children coming home to loving families in the United [...]]]> Holt’s Special Needs Adoption Fund

Five years ago, Celia was abandoned at a hospital in China and brought to an orphanage. Celia, one of Holt’s precious Waiting Children, had a congenital foot abnormality — she was missing the front part of her foot.

Today, more than 50% of children coming home to loving families in the United States have moderate to severe special needs. Because of this, it is difficult to find the right families. Oftentimes, the right family may not have the financial resources to cover the cost of adoption or the added cost once their child is home. Families who adopt children with special needs require more training, support and resources.

Holt reduces fees and subsidizes the cost of adoption through the Special Needs Adoption Fund.

One gift today can change the life of a child with special needs forever. It can mean a world of difference to families desperately wanting to give a home and a family to a child.

Today, Celia knows the incredible joy of being part of a permanent family. She came home to Steve and Colleen Thompson in 2006. She has an older sister, Sawyer, and two loving parents. Celia gets help from a prosthetic foot that she will continue to wear. She plays baseball, dances, and does gymnastics with full range of motion. She can walk, run, jump and play. Celia’s future is bright because of her potential and because of her parent’s support, love, commitment and encouragement.

Right now, the Special Needs Adoption Fund is nearly empty. Your gift will make a huge difference. It will support the Waiting Child program by helping prospective parents overcome financial barriers that would otherwise prevent them from bring these special children into their families.

“There are so many more children like Celia who are ready and able to thrive, and so many families like ours that are ready and able to adopt,” says Celia’s mother, Colleen. “Your gift will help ensure that matches like ours are possible, and that these children have the opportunity to live the full, rich lives they deserve.”

Celia is alive and well today thanks to her loving parents and thanks to support from you. Won’t you help another Waiting Child?

Click on the banner below to give to Holt’s Special Needs Adoption Fund. Help a child come home to their family!

by Robin Munro, Senior Writer

Introducing Jaili Joi Moffitt.

Lightning struck.  And everyone fell in [...]]]> Shane and Angel Moffitt have adopted twice through Holt’s China Child of Promise program for children with minor to moderate special needs – Holt’s most popular track to adopt from China.  The first time was easy.  The second time was anything but.

by Robin Munro, Senior Writer

Introducing Jaili Joi Moffitt.

Lightning struck.  And everyone fell in love.

On December 11, 2006, Shane and Angel Moffitt met their first daughter, Jaili, in China.  The next day, Angel wrote an update to family and friends and adoptive parents following her blog, where for the past seven months she had chronicled her “Journey to Jaili.”

“By the wonderful grace of God we have been blessed with the most amazing and breathtakingly beautiful girl,” she wrote.  “She is the most special little one.  Shane and I are awestruck and so in love.”

She was sweet and gentle and playful and goofy, slept for hours and woke up happy. On Day 3, on a visit to her orphanage, Jaili made it clear she knew who “Momma” was – snuggling into Angel’s sweatshirt and ignoring her former caregivers.  Shane and Angel were simply astonished.  Hours passed in minutes as they held, fed or simply stared at their 11-month-old wonder.  They couldn’t imagine their lives without her.

Once home, they experienced the usual bumps and backslides – Jaili pushed Angel away, attaching to Shane more at first.  But nothing unexpected.  And nothing they couldn’t handle.  For the most part, she was just a joy – “a joy to sit and watch play, sleep, whatever.”

And then, a fairy tale ending.  Jaili, born Hepatitis B positive, naturally converted to negative status.  “She is,” wrote Angel, “our true miracle.”

We Have A Daughter!

Shane and Angel adopted Jaili through what is now known as the China Child of Promise program – Holt’s track for children from China with minor to moderate, correctable or manageable conditions.  In 2005, when the Moffitts began the process, fewer families considered adopting children with special needs.  They didn’t think of it.  This wasn’t the typical profile of children needing homes.  In the previous two decades, the number of abandoned children had grown by the thousands in China – an unintended consequence of the country’s one-child policy, designed to curb population growth.  Most of the children found abandoned were girls.  Most of them were infants.  And most of them had no known health conditions.  As news of this crisis spread, families throughout the world opened their hearts to these children.  Between 2002 and 2006, over 30,000 children from China joined adoptive families overseas.

Everyone championed the cause.  Even Oprah did a segment on “China’s Lost Girls,” in December of 2004.  Among the thousands who viewed it was Angel Moffitt.  After sharing with Shane, and a considerable amount of prayer, they decided this was the path for them.  In July of 2005, they applied to Holt.

“Everything proceeded fantastically,” Angel wrote on her first blog post.  They completed their dossier in early February and by March 14, 2006 it was officially logged in at the China Center of Adoption Affairs (now the China Center for Child Welfare and Adoption, or CCCWA).  “This was a fantastic day.  I was ‘paper pregnant’ !!” wrote Angel.  “Now all we have to do is wait and wait and wait and wait a little more until we get her referral.”

Shane and Angel hold their referral photo of Jaili.

So they waited.  And waited.  By June, they were getting antsy.   “Every month, the referral time increases,” Angel wrote on June 7^th.  “We are not exactly sure why this is occurring.”

What had occurred was a critical mass of dossiers at the CCCWA.  Between 2005 and 2007, the Moffitts were just one of thousands of families who had decided that adopting from China was the path for them.  As a result, hopeful adoptive families began to outnumber eligible children. The process slowed, referral times increased, and after the CCCWA announced stricter guidelines beginning in May 2007, families rushed to beat the deadline – completing and submitting dossiers en masse.  Those hoping to adopt a healthy infant girl – the profile of child China was known for – faced an even longer wait.  By 2007, what was once typically a 7-to-9-month wait for referral continued to lengthen by the minute.  Today, the estimated timeframe to adopt a child from China with no known health conditions stands at five years.

But because Shane and Angel chose to adopt through the special needs track, the wait would not be long at all.

In June of 2006, even as they agonized over the lengthening referral times, they couldn’t anticipate their next blog post – a little over a month later – would be a surprise announcement: “We have a daughter!”

Journey to Jaili

At the outset of their adoption journey, Shane and Angel made a critical decision.  They decided to open their hearts to a child with a minor special need.

“It was never an issue – whether special needs or non-special needs,” says Angel.

They filled out a medical conditions checklist – researching conditions and marking off the ones they felt comfortable and prepared to manage.  They also consulted their social worker, Kathie Stocker, and Holt’s director of services for China, Beth Smith.

“I talked to Beth a lot…and pretty much any time I had a question, I’d email Beth and she would email right back,” says Angel. “She was really invaluable in that process, in keeping me sane.”

Shane with baby Jaili.

This decision not only brought them Jaili, but also brought her referral a little over four months after their dossier arrived in China.  At the time, the Moffitts knew the CCCWA expedited the process to adopt children with certain medical and developmental conditions, such as cleft lip and palate, minor heart conditions and Hepatitis B.  But time wasn’t their main motivation.

“Sometimes with special needs the process is a little faster,” Angel wrote on her blog in June of 2006.  “Not the reason we submitted our list.”

“It was the route we knew we were going to take,” says Shane.

All the emails and phone calls between Shane, Angel and Beth not only served to keep Angel sane – they also played an important role in matching Jaili.

“Through phone calls and emails we got to know the family really well, including their ability to manage the special needs they had identified,” explains Beth. “ When we saw [Jaili, she] just fit the family’s openness and preparation level.”

Holt’s China team doesn’t identify all matches.  Children with no known health conditions are always matched in China, by the CCCWA.  But China does permit some trusted agencies to do the matching for children with special needs.

For Jaili, Beth and team chose the Moffitts.

“When we got Jaili’s match,” says Angel, “Beth said, ‘I knew this was Shane and Angel’s daughter.’”

During the homestudy process, the Moffitts’ social worker determined the couple fully prepared to handle Jaili’s special need – Hepatitis B.  Factors she considered included access to medical resources, as well as other sources of ongoing support.   They were hooked into medical professionals and facilities able to assess Jaili during referral and after she came home, says Beth.

“They also had a wonderful support network of personal friends and family, adoption families and professionals to help them through difficult times,” she says.

Before accepting their referral for Jaili, Shane and Angel consulted a pediatric and family doctor – a typical step in the process.

“Her special need was that she tested positive for Hepatitis B. She was considered acute in July at the time of her referral,” Angel wrote in her blog.  “After doing research and praying we knew that Jaili was our daughter and the Hep B didn’t matter to us. It would be manageable.”  They knew there was a chance the Hep B would get worse and that she might need a liver transplant later in life.  They also learned that Jaili had a 10% chance of developing a natural immunity to the disease.

“We had everyone praying for her but did not put this last scenario in our thoughts at all,” Angel wrote.

Two weeks after arriving home from China, an international adoption specialist reviewed Jaili’s blood work.  “She is our true miracle,” Angel wrote in their next blog post.  “Jaili is completely free of the Hep B.”

Angel with Jaili.

Shane and Angel describe their journey to Jaili as a fairy tale adoption experience. “Shane and I are so very blessed,” Angel wrote in the same post announcing Jaili’s Hep B results.  “We know that we have a very rare adoption story and that things usually don’t go as smoothly as this.”

Though hoping to adopt again, they tempered thoughts of another fairy tale.

“We are planning on doing a waiting child adoption with all of our kids,” Angel wrote, “and already do not expect to have the same amazing results that we have had with Jaili.”

In July of 2009, the Moffitts began the process to adopt again – this time, more experienced, more educated and, presumably, prepared to handle anything.

Nothing could have prepared them for Evie.

Journey to Evie

In the summer of 2009, life was bliss in the Moffitt household.  Over the previous year and a half, Angel, Shane and Jaili had grown into an inseparable unit.  Jaili was a happy, healthy 3-and-a-half year old girl, and just the light of Shane and Angel’s life.  They all felt ready – Jaili ready for a baby sister, and Shane and Angel ready to bring another “little light” into their lives.

This time, they felt confident they could take on a bigger challenge.  With Jaili, the Moffitts marked only a few minor conditions on their medical needs checklist.  As they sat down to fill out their second checklist, they found many more needs they felt comfortable managing. “Some of the special needs we have included are deaf, partial hearing loss, ear atresia, congenital heart defect, Hep B, missing or partial arm, leg, fingers, toes, webbed fingers, toes, albinism and a few others,” Angel wrote on her blog in August.  Some of the needs were more minor.  Some were correctible.  Some were more serious and would require more intensive care.

A Christmas family photo.

Since Jaili’s adoption, the process to adopt from China had changed significantly as well.  Changing requirements in China had caused even longer timeframes from application to placement.  But because the Moffitts chose to adopt – again – through the China Child of Promise program, they could expect a shorter wait.

Holt would still identify the match, though this part of the process had changed as well.  Now, China would release information about eligible children to an online listserv shared by different agencies.  When Holt’s China team identified a possible match on the “shared list,” they would “lock” the file for the prospective family to review.  If the family decided to accept the referral, the match would be made official and the family would take next steps to complete the adoption.

Holt’s China team would also work odd and long hours to ensure families received referrals as child files became available.  And as with Jaili’s match, Beth and team would look for the best fit possible for every child and every family.

Shane and Angel also had the option to search for a match on their own – on Holt’s waiting child photolisting.  But waiting children tend to be older, and their needs tend to be more involved.   Children in the China Child of Promise program rarely wait as long, and never make it to the photolisting.  The Moffitts chose this track, entrusting Holt’s China team once again to match them with their second child.

But this time, Angel beat them too it.

Although not actively looking, Angel just happened to be visiting a forum she rarely checked when she saw a post about a 9-month-old girl with albinism.  Her file had just been released.  “I immediately emailed Holt on Sat am to ask about her file,” Angel wrote. “They were fantastic and looked on the shared list right away for us.”  Although another agency had locked her file, Holt promised to check her availability again on Sunday evening.  On Monday morning, Angel had an email in her inbox from Holt.  They had locked her file, and sent her information to the Moffitts.

“Shane and I knew immediately that this is the second daughter God has intended for us,” Angel wrote. “We are so excited and all of us can’t wait to bring her home.”

They decided – well, Jaili decided – on the name June.  They later changed it to Eliana. And finally, after meeting her in China, they named her Evie June.

All About Evie

While waiting for travel approval, Shane and Angel received updates on Evie, including photos.

As with Jaili, Beth felt confident Shane and Angel could manage Evie’s condition. Shane and Angel felt confident as well.  Holt provided regular updates from Evie’s caregivers and Holt staff in China could follow-up with the orphanage on any questions they might have.

But Shane and Angel also knew to expect unknowns.  “Really, you know when you get a referral, you may be getting all the information, or maybe only a portion of the picture,” says Angel. Although Holt provides all the information available at the time of referral, China’s orphanages – or social welfare institutes – are independent entities.  Because children are not in the care of Holt partner organizations, information is more limited.

Holt encourages families to prepare for all the possible outcomes. “We’ve been accused of being downers,” says Beth, explaining how well they try to emphasize the possibility of a “worst case scenario.”

While they waited for their letter of approval from China, Angel worried about all the possibilities. “There are just the unknowns that I sit and dwell on while we wait,” she wrote, “like attachment, lack of sleep for us for awhile, will she like us, will she allow us to comfort her during her grieving process, how will Jaili react, will Jaili feel left out…”

Vision problems are often linked with albinism, and Angel worried about Evie’s eyesight – whether she would be legally blind.  Shane and Angel also discovered that foster parents were caring for Evie.  Although wonderful for Evie, she would likely be very attached to her foster parents – and, as a result, grieve harder. Angel focused on the positive: “I’m guessing she is going to not be very happy with us when we first get her. I’m not sure what to expect but am so happy that she is being taken care of so well.”

Angel also took positive steps, using the wait to become better informed about Evie’s condition, and prepare for her arrival. “Holt has been fantastic with everything and were able to get updates for us. We got one new picture of June and a little more information on her,” Angel wrote in January. “It looks like she has strabismus (lazy eye) with one of her eyes so we will see what we need to do to help her with it when she comes home.”

Although the unknowns nagged at Angel, she ultimately came to an inspired realization.  “We love her already and it doesn’t matter what worries or fears I have,” she wrote. “It’s not about me or any of us. It’s about her and I know Shane, Jaili and I cannot wait to bring her home.”

This realization would prove critical in getting her through what happened next.

Mayday, Mayday!

After announcing their arrival in China on May 3^rd, Shane and Angel’s blog went quiet for ten days.

Then, on May 13^th, Angel posted an update.

“Needless to say we had quite an upset little girl,” Angel wrote. “She was quite attached to her foster mother so she has no desire for me to be around her. It’s been very hard the past few days. So difficult in fact that I called our agency to talk to them about if we had made a horrible mistake in doing this adoption.”

Evie cried non-stop for three days.  Shane could calm her, but she wouldn’t let Angel even touch her, let alone hold her.  “I cried every single day,” Angel says.  “I was upset.  Shane was upset.  Jaili was upset.”  Evie seemed much more delayed than they had anticipated.

The “worst case scenario” had become a reality.

They immediately contacted their social worker, Kathie, and Beth, who quickly assured them what they were experiencing with Evie was entirely normal.  “Having a child look at you and not see you is very distressing,” she says.  She assured them that having a child not reach out in a way they hoped or expected happens to many families.  “[Families] all think… lightning strikes, and they all fall in love,” says Beth. Even experienced, well-researched families like the Moffitts can’t possibly predict or imagine, Beth says, what it will be like or how they will react in a crisis moment.

“All the planning (for worst case) in the world cannot prepare you for the feelings that you have and the emotions you and your child experience at the time when you get them,” says Angel. “I think Holt does what they can to prepare you, but honestly there is nothing they can do to make you understand exactly what it will be like. Beth and Kathie did a wonderful job while we were in China – they were one of our lifelines!”

Angel confided that she didn’t feel an immediate connection with Evie, as she had with Jaili.  “She never made me feel bad about feeling that way,” Angel says of Beth, who told her, “It’s not the first time.  Give it a few days.  Don’t make any decisions right now.”

“They were really there to help,” Angel says of Beth and Kathie.  “It allowed Shane and I to take a step back – go ‘Okay, things will calm down.  We’ll find ways to work with her.’  It gave me a sense of security to know we had someone to help us when we came home.”

“Both Beth and Kathie said there are options… It was really relaxing to know that they were there,” says Shane.

The support Beth and Holt’s China team offers depends on the situation, Beth says.  If it’s a medical issue, Holt’s China team can gather more information from the orphanage and/or take the child to a physician.  “Sometimes,” she says, “it’s a matter of helping the families realize it’s only been 24 hours.  Even though they’re dealing with a screaming child that bites and hits, I tell them to get perspective.”  During the transition, some children go into “shock mode” and regress.

In other situations, it’s just a matter of offering more time – more time to complete the adoption, and more time to observe the progress a child is making in coming closer to parents.  “We point out the little steps a child is making – a fleeting glance, tolerating being in the same room as the parents,” says Beth.  “When in a crisis, they tend to think it’s all bad.”

But most of all, Beth assures families that “they’re not trapped.”

“We won’t let them fall,” she says.  “We will support them with whatever choice they make.”

Little Steps

A breakthrough moment for Angel and Evie.

After the first few days, Angel and Shane began to take notice of Evie’s little steps.  On their fifth day with Evie, Angel saw her first step.  “She actually touched me on her own and when I pointed to her and said Evie, then pointed to myself and said Mommy, then I pointed to my lips and said kiss and she kissed me on her own.  Which is a big step,” Angel wrote.

On their 17^th day with Evie, she wrote: “Evie is doing much better. We measure time now in small moments instead of days. We had several good moments in China. Mostly screaming at me but a few great things that kept me going. She let me hold her while only screaming for a while and then settling down.”

And then, the following day, a breakthrough.

“Yesterday a small miracle occurred,” Angel wrote on Day 18, now home in Oregon. “Evie actually wanted me to hold her most of the evening. She went to me right before we were going to the store and stayed in my arms the entire time. She was sooo sweet. It was so nice to actually comfort my child for the first time and not have her scream like a banshee when I’m within 5 feet of her.”

Angel approached the adjustment process with both humor and wisdom, seeing the positive in what initially seemed a nightmare scenario. “She’s a fighter and I Love that about her,” Angel wrote. “Not at all fun for me right now but she will need that fire as she gets older. She will have things to overcome and with the tenacity that she shows she will have no problem accomplishing anything. She is one funny, spicy, stubborn kid and I’m happy to say that she is all ours.”

A Fairy Tale Ending, After All

A family at last!

On May 23, 2011, Evie will have been home one year.

Over the past year, Shane and Angel have gained significant insight into Evie’s condition.  Many of Evie’s behaviors — non-stop screaming, repeating of sounds and strong emotional responses to upsets — result from another condition commonly associated with albinism: Optic Nerve Hypoplasia. After finding the right specialists, they have learned techniques to work with her.  Evie has also received surgery for her strabismus, and treatment for her vision.  Angel and Shane teach Evie how to see.  “We work with her every day,” says Angel.  “[We say] ‘eyes, Evie, eyes, Evie.’ It’s a night and day difference.  She’s not just a kid that screams and yells.  She’s a kid that reboots.”

Little steps have progressed to big leaps.

On June 2^nd, with Evie home about two weeks, Angel wrote, “You can tell she wants to be close to me but she is just not completely ready yet.”

Sisters Jaili Joy and Evie June Moffitt.

On August 5^th, she wrote: “I can’t believe it’s only been 3 months and how our feelings have changed… I cannot imagine our lives without Evie in them now! She fits us so perfectly. It has been lots of hard work and continues to be but I can see the change and growth in Evie…I can honestly say that I LOVE Evie’s spirit.”

Evie immediately attached to Jaili in China, and their bond continues to grow as well.  “Jaili and Evie are doing amazing together,” Angel writes. “There is nothing like watching your kids play, get along and love each other without a care in the world.”

Today, progress in working with Evie continues to move slowly.  “There are good and bad days,” Angel writes, “but Evie finally accepts us and loves us as her family and she is the most wonderful addition to ours.”

One year ago, this was hard to foresee.  But with time, love, prayer and support from family and friends, Angel and Shane kept the faith.  “Even if you get your child and it’s a mayday situation, it’s not going to be like that forever,” Angel realized.  “Your feelings grow.  You don’t have to fall in love with your child the minute you see them.  It takes time for love to grow.”

With Jaili, Angel and Shane instantly fell in love.  “With Evie, it was slow to cook but man you get something fantastic in the end,” she writes.

“She is loud, boistrous, happy, loving, determined and stubborn. She is like the sun.  Hot and intense but there is no comparison to the warmth and life that it provides.”

by Jason & Ryan McBride | Haddonfield, New Jersey

We decided on adoption in the early summer months of 2009. By late July that year, we had settled on Holt International as our agency and China [...]]]> The China Child of Promise was meant to find us,” says Jason McBride, “and it’s one we hope finds many others.”

by Jason & Ryan McBride | Haddonfield, New Jersey

We decided on adoption in the early summer months of 2009. By late July that year, we had settled on Holt International as our agency and China Child of Promise as our desired route. In early August 2010, exactly one year later, we came home from China with our son, Wyeth. Going into our decision to join China Child of Promise, we had all the same questions and concerns that any family would. Is this something we can handle? Can we trust our agency to give us the right information? What if it doesn’t work out? Will we later be forced into a situation out of guilt?  We chose to write this article to answer some of these common questions that many of you are asking.  Since we’ve been home with Wyeth, we’ve felt so strongly about our results with China Child of Promise that we’ve served as a “mentor family” for others potentially interested in the program.  We love making calls to prospective parents because it gives us a chance to share our experience, and most importantly…to play our small role in helping other families find the children they were meant for. Simply put, China Child of Promise changed our lives, and so we want others to share in that miracle too.

From the start of joining China Child of Promise, Holt International made us feel confident in the decision we made.  Their staff satisfied every question, both before and during the process, and their time estimate for completing the program was accurate.  We were never hassled about choosing particular correctable problems on the checklist, nor did our child’s referral reflect anything other than what we had asked for.  Holt completely supported our initial list and even allowed us to alter it along the way. When we received our child’s referral, concerns and additional questions we insisted on were met with a prompt and honest response.  From our experience, we would not only recommend Holt International, but would fully endorse China Child of Promise as a wonderful way for families to find the children. Having been home for eight months now, Wyeth is 2 years old, completely healthy, and exceeding averages for his age in every area of development from language to social skills. In fact, the “minor, correctable problem” he was once diagnosed with in China was cured during our very first visit to Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia… by nothing more than an inexpensive over- the-counter medicine. He’s intelligent, caring, and has a bright personality that attracts smiling faces everywhere we go.

Looking back, we often ask ourselves what life would be like had we allowed our initial hesitations about China Child of Promise, though reasonable, to determine our path to adoption. What if we had held onto the notion that a healthy child was only available through the standard process? What if we hadn’t taken that leap of faith? Through those questions, we now know what the real risk always was… that we were once in a place that came so very close to us never finding our beautiful son, Wyeth. Our leap of faith was the best thing that has ever happened to us.

This program was meant to find us, and it’s one we hope finds many others. In fact, we liked it so much that we’re doing it again!  Four months after returning home with Wyeth, we applied once more to China Child of Promise, this time to adopt our daughter.

To learn more about the China Child of Promise program, click here

How a simple idea changed the life of a child in Holt’s care

Remember this story? In the summer of 2009, Tony Nolan, special guest speaker for Winter Jam, visited Holt’s care centers in China while traveling to meet his daughter, Fei Fei. On his journey, he [...]]]>

How a simple idea changed the life of a child in Holt’s care

Remember this story? In the summer of 2009, Tony Nolan, special guest speaker for Winter Jam, visited Holt’s care centers in China while traveling to meet his daughter, Fei Fei. On his journey, he met another very special little girl named *Qui. Born without feet, Qui would experience great pain while walking. Observing Qui’s struggles, a caretaker took initiative and created a simple device that helped Qui walk with comfort and ease. Tony Nolan and the rest of the team were touched by the caretaker’s love and consideration for the little girl.

“I am amazed at how much passion Holt staff has for these children, and how they demonstrate that passion in little and big ways,” said Tony. “To have someone at Nanchang who would have the creativity, desire and motivation to do something above and beyond the call of duty is just awesome!” ….Read about Qui and her loving caretaker in the story, “Little Steps.”

Today, 2 years later, Qui, now Lilah, is home with her parents, Anne and Mike, and her big brother, Luke.

“Where Luke came quietly into our home,” says Anne and Mike, “Lilah came in like a hurricane! She is high energy, boisterous, and terribly funny…we’re not sure Lilah believes she has a disability. No feet. No problem.” ….read about Lilah’s journey home, click here

Tony Nolan is currently on tour with Winter Jam 2011.  Click here for a concert near you, and for ways to help!  Holt still needs volunteers to help at each concert!

Click here to learn more about Holt’s China Child of Promise option for children with manageable, treatable conditions….

*Name changed

Never before have Chinese boys and girls, toddler through school-age, had so many opportunities to have loving, adoptive families – particularly [...]]]> Happy Lunar New Year! Today, February 3rd, China ushers in the Year of the Rabbit – a year of good fortune for those born in Rabbit years, and a very exciting year in China adoptions!

Never before have Chinese boys and girls, toddler through school-age, had so many opportunities to have loving, adoptive families – particularly older children, and children with correctable/treatable physical conditions or moderate to serious special needs.

To learn more, register for Holt’s upcoming webinar, “Adopting from China,” on the 10th or 24th.

• Learn the different China adoption “tracks,” and flexibilities in their eligibility guidelines.

• Discover China’s Waiting Children – including a new category of children described by the China Center of Adoption Affairs (CCAA) as “Special Focus” children.

• Learn how Holt works closely with families to match children in the China Child of Promise option, and. . .

• Hear from a family who has completed the China Child of Promise option.

• Get info about preparation and post-placement resources for families adopting older children and children with special needs.

• Ask questions, and get started on the track that is the best fit for your family.

With more than 700 children matched through the China Child of Promise option, Holt International is leading the charge to find homes for children from China!

The following is an excerpt from the Rees family’s blog about Jazyme, their dearly loved China Child of Promise:

Rick and I spend time with Jazmyne…a lot of time! We work with her a lot, but certainly cannot take all of the credit for how smart she really is. And, of course, the twist of fate — such an ironic twist — is that she was adopted through the special needs process for simply having an extra toe on each foot! Jazmyne is a Holt International China Child of Promise who definitely made good on her “Promise!”

Because Rick and I both work in special needs education fields, we felt we had the skills to help any child, with any disability, live up to their fullest potential! Never in our wildest dreams did we even entertain any thoughts that our child would be exceptional!

Jazmyne has seven doctor’s kits and proclaims: “I’m going to be a doctor when I grow up!” While in China, she spent a lot of time with the Qian Jiang orphanage doctor, both in the doctor’s clinic and her home. The doctor even went so far as to travel with Jazmyne to meet us on Jazzy’s “Gotcha Day.” She traveled with Jazzy to make sure that we knew that, in her professional opinion, Jazmyne was not “special needs” at all, but, in fact, “gifted!”

The good doctor was absolutely correct in her opinion! I have no idea if Jazmyne will keep on the course of wanting to be a doctor, but I can tell you something for certain even now: Whatever she chooses to do in life, she will be successful!

Our Jazmyne Rose: abandoned at a bus station at 10 months old, living in an orphanage for over a year, adopted by foreigners, 3 months later having an operation to correct her feet, all while learning a new language.  Today, Jazmyne excels in preschool and is the star of her dance class, gymnastics and skiing classes.

Thank you, God, for the incredible gift of our beloved Jazzy Rose!

Click here to read the Rees family’s blog, and view an adorable dance recital video of Jazzy Rose!

Holt needs families interested in adopting children with correctable/treatable physical conditions. Click here to learn more about the China Child of Promise program, Holt’s expedited process for children with correctable/treatable physical conditions