A 13-year-old boy leaves the loving care of Ilsan
by Jake Krob
Parents who adopt have heard it time and time again. “You are so special!” people say.
“Your child is so lucky,” others remark.
It’s pretty clear after six months with Sonny that he’s the special one…that we’re the lucky ones.
It’s true that how Sonny came into our lives is a bit uncommon. As far as Holt has records, he’s the oldest child with special needs to be adopted.
“You know, you had quite a bit going against you,” our social worker said.
We didn’t take this adoption – and all the “issues” – lightly. But our motives, if that’s what you call them, were grounded in the same reasons most everyone adopts: Every child is a miracle. Every child deserves a loving family.
That’s what led us to Holt in 2003. Eli, now 5 1/2, arrived in Eastern Iowa from Seoul, South Korea, as a six-month-old blessing. We were blessed by birth with the arrival of Ella, now three, in 2006.
And then we met Lee Soo-Hoon (Sonny), through the pages of Holt International magazine. It arrived midday. I’d had a long evening of work as editor of the newspaper we own. Niki, Eli and Ella were in bed when I came home. On the kitchen counter was Hi Families, opened to the Waiting Children pages. Niki stuck a Post-It next to his picture.
“Our new son?” she inquired in writing.
“Yes.” I replied, for her to discover the next morning.
Our faith told us, deep in our souls, that this was right for us. But we knew it wasn’t for us that we were deciding. We spent hours contemplating what would become the first of many decisions we made for our son: Was this the right thing to do for Lee Soo-hoon?
He’d been in the care of Holt since birth. He clearly loved his housemothers. He loved his family at Ilsan. He reveled in activities – from a choir that toured the country, and beyond, to TaeKwon-Do and wrestling.
We knew that if for whatever reason the adoption didn’t work out, he would have a fine life in Korea. After all, he was in the care of Holt. There’s always that shred of doubt with faith, and we won’t deny that here, but miracles along the way cemented our decision for Sonny. It was the right decision to bring him home.
There are people today who still say we took a big leap of faith. Some probably think we’re crazy. But again, we turn to Sonny.
At Sonny’s baptism, Niki’s dad, Randy preached as a Deacon in the Catholic Church. Randy said it best: “While Sonny’s Faith with a capital ‘F’ – his faith in God – is evolving, he is a perfect model for another faith – with a lower case ‘f’ … a faith in others that we hope someday will extend to his capital ‘F’ Faith in God.
“Think about Sonny’s life and you’ll see what I mean. He’s told time and again about the possibility of being adopted. But months and years go by and nothing happens. Still he has faith, even though he probably doesn’t have a clear understanding of what a “family” means. He just knows all that must be good … because that’s what he’s told … and he has faith in what his care providers tell him.
Then, finally at the age of 13, Sonny is told he’s going to have a home … with a family … a Mom and a Dad and a brother and sister … in the United States. His faith is rewarded, but then came the real show of faith. To be a part of that family experience, to have the love of a Mom and Dad and siblings and extended family. Sonny had to leave everything and everyone he had ever known. He had to leave his culture, his language, his food and much more. But he did … why? Because he had faith.”
Sonny has shown us that faith every day since his arrival in February. The day he went to school for the first time – a school full of English-speaking teenagers. The day he ate his first Midwest meal, including a salad with all the fixings. The day he first went to church. The day Sonny took his first trip to Omaha to visit family.
Are there trying days? You bet. Communication can still be difficult. Sonny’s Down Syndrome makes some tasks difficult for him. Sibling rivalry is a part of our household, just as it is yours. And Sonny is a teenager, with the attitude to come with it. But at the end of each day, it’s clear: He’s a special son. We’re the lucky ones.
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I loved the story about Sonny.
Thanks for sharing.
Janet Stone
Dear Jake and Niki,
I just wanted to say Congrats on such an awesome young man. I too have children from Korea. Five to be exact and also one by birth. My last 2 sons to come home also lived at Ilsan. I have meet your son Sonny many times. He is the sweetest boy. Always a wave and a hello.
I was so happy to see he has a forever family. Did you travel and stay at Ilsan? That is where I stayed and it was wonderful. Molly Holt is just wonderful.
Best Regards,
Kristine in NJ
What a wonderful story! Praying for the trying times to be ever fewer and the blessings to be mulitplied!
We also have 2 children with Down syndrome adopted through Holt. I would love to talk with this family and give them support if needed. We are originally from eastern Iowa as well, Mt.Vernon, Iowa.
Hi,
Your story is so familiar. In 1991 we adopted a twelve year old girl with Down Syndrome. Her name was Choi Mok Ryun We named her Alice Liette after her two American grandmothers. She is 31 now and still a very important part of our family.
She is a joy and a blessing in our home. She still sometimes has her teenager attitude even though she is an adult which she reminds me all the time. She is a Woman and not a girl or a kid. Alice has lots of interests and has held several jobs although at present she isn’t working, she is a great help at home. Anyway, if you would like to correspond we would be glad to further share our experience.
Hi,, what a wonderful letter.. I have adopted 4 kids from Korea in the last 20 years.. and 3 have special needs..they came as toddlers and babies.. now they are young adults and teens.. and now at 54, and 49 ,, 2 years ago.. we adopted a baby with special needs.. Curvature of the spine and 2 holes in his heart. and a syndrome.. the agency in Fla could not find a family that would adopt him.. he is so special and so fun!! congratulations to your family!!! How wonderful! Bryan and Lisa in IN
Hi Jake:
My name is Pati Nelson; I just finished reading your story (and read about Soon Hoon getting a family of his own earlier this year. I met him at Ilsan two and one-half years ago when my daughter and I visited and volunteered. I am an adoptee from Korea and that was my first visit. I have to tell you that I fell in love with Soo Hoon; he was spunky and funny and just so full of life and a little stubborn!
Regardless, I wrote a blog of my visit and there are several pictures of Sonny from 2 1/2 years ago. I am so thiilled and feel so blessed to have been part of his life for a short amount of time. The last day Chandler (my daughter) and I spent in Korea we took Sonny to get pizza; we ordered it with everything on it and bought ice cream for dessert. We took it all to Molly’s and had a wonderful feast.
God bless you and your wonderful family! I am so happy to hear that you are raising him in church and continuing to foster his faith in our Lord and Savior!
In Christ,
pati nelson
God bless you all! You are all special, lucky, and blessed to have found each other! Grow in God’s Strength and with God’s Grace.
Praise God for Sonny!!!! And thank you for being availabe and obedient to God.
Hi Niki and Jake,
Congratulations to opening your heart and home to Sonny. It is awesome to hear about children being adopted but for me, it is especially nice to hear an older child finding a loving, forever home finally who may have had their chances decreased due to their age and special needs.
I was adopted at age 11 from Seoul, Korea and to this day, I can’t fathom what my life would have been like if it wasn’t for my parents taking special interest in me.
Regardless of the religion, having “Faith”, is beautiful and universal!!
Jake Krob here. Anyone wishing to correspond with us can e-mail:
krob4@msn.com
Blessings on your family. I rejoice to read about it and see his picture.
When my husband and I adopted our second child from Korea she joined our birth daughter and later another birth daughter came to bless us.
Later I adopted a baby boy who has Down’s Syndrome. He is now 18 years old and continues to be a blessing to me and many others.
Each child is a special gift of God. With each we need to pray for wisdom, and continue to love and pray for them as they grow
After each adoption, we were asked about adoption and the cycle continues as others add to their families by adoption. In this way we pass on the blessings.
Linda from NE
Stories like this remind how beautiful the world is. We just adopted our son from Korea and as you say “We are the one’s that are blessed”!!
All of you are so lucky to have each other.
Loved reading your story. We are about 2 months a way from adopting our daughter from Korea. Our 1st born is a 6 year old with Down syndrome so I know the blessing you have. I really want to tell you and the others on here who have adopted these beautiful children with down syndrome, what blessings you all are!
[...] fought for Melissa, and she is now home with a loving family. And we fought for Soo-hoon, “Sonny,” an older child with Down syndrome. In a week, Sonny will ce…. Called by God to care for orphans in their distress, Holt presses on to find families for each and [...]