Journey of the Heart

A return to Korea, with the Holt Heritage tour, brings understanding and an unexpected connection

by Courtney Rader, Holt Adult Adoptee Outreach Director

Is this your first time back to Korea? I don’t know how many times I was asked this question. Technically, the answer is no. I was in the airport for a layover to Hong Kong once, but that doesn’t count. I was adopted in 1980, and this was my first time back to Korea.

I tried not to have high expectations. I wanted to share this experience with my husband and the 45 people on the two-week tour. For many this was the first time back to Korea. Smiles and laughter seemed to be a constant theme, however, I saw and experienced many tears. In a country so foreign to me, I felt this connection as if I had never left. I saw myself in so many faces, including the children, but at the same time, I realized that we didn’t have much in common besides being Korean. It felt so weird to see people who look like me everywhere, but to feel so disconnected to them at the same time. Yet, I felt a close connection with the other adoptees on the Tour.

The Heritage Tour took us to Incheon, Seoul, Gyeongju, and Busan. We visited the Korean Folk Village, Changdeok Palace and were invited to a special dinner hosted by the district mayor of the Jongno District. We did our best at making kimbop at the Kyoungbuk University Korean Cultural Program, visited the Jeonju Babies’ Home, the Daejeon Maternity Shelter, and Holt Ilsan Center. We were honored in the Mapo District with a ceremony that granted us honorary citizenship commemorating our visit and reestablished our roots and ties to Korea

My most memorable experience was the host family stay. Where we were guests for one night. You would think the language barrier would be an issue, but it was not. The youngest daughter translated very well and at times I could tell she was nervous and rubbed her face in embarrassment as I complemented her English. Her pronunciation was perfect. Later in the week, we met them for an evening, and in a touching moment our host mother gave me a hug and said in English that she was my “Korean mom”.

There is no way to clearly describe my experience back to Korea. Just like the nod many adoptees give each other, there is a common understanding among those who have experienced their first trip back. It’s a journey I have opened my heart to and have no expectations as to where it may lead. I do know, however, that I have gained a better understanding of my birth country and knowledge of Holt’s services. I have seen how beautiful and proud the Korean people are. I know I will return to Korea and look forward to growing my relationship with a country I once called home.

For information about next summer’s China and Korea Heritage tours, contact Lisle Veach at lislev@holtinternational.org (China tour) or Paul Kim at paulk@holtinternational.org (Korea tour)