The Gift of Fatherhood

An adoptive dad reflects on having two beautiful children

by: Terry R. Cassreino

With Father’s Day fast approaching, my children are on my mind more than usual. Our family is in the process of moving to southeast Louisiana after I accepted a job and began work there in May. Our children stayed home with my wife, helping prepare our house for sale and packing for the move.

Being a father came late for me, just like my marriage. Both have been a huge blessing. Pam and I met in 1997 when I was 36; we married in 1999. When it became obvious we weren’t going to have a child naturally, we chose to adopt, hooked up with Holt International and the rest, to use a trite phrase, is history. We brought our daughter, Camryn, home from China in 2006.

A few years later Camryn sat in my lap and begged me to talk about the upcoming China trip my wife and I were taking to bring home our second child, Matthew. Her excitement had been building for months, ever since Pam and I learned that we were matched with a little boy through Holt’s China Child of Promise program.

“Tell me about my baby brother,” Camryn said as she smiled and laughed. “Talk to me about Matthew. Is he going to be big? Is he still a baby? Can I play with him?”

Hearing Camryn’s excitement didn’t surprise me at all. We had been talking to her about Matthew for weeks to help her prepare for his arrival and ease the transition to having a second child as a member of our family.

Matthew has been home since December. For me, nothing is more touching than watching Camryn sit on the floor of her bedroom, open a book, point to the pictures and create a story for her brother as if she’s reading the words on the pages. Matthew usually sits quiet and attentive, listening to every word.

Our lives have seen the typical challenges of most parents: making sure our children eat right, trying to choose the right day care and treating the typical childhood illnesses and colds. We also do other things, such as ensuring Camryn and Matthew know and learn about their Chinese culture. And we are helping Matthew correct his clubfoot, which hasn’t been that much of a problem at all.

I’m 48 now – and probably will be the oldest parent in our children’s PTA organization. But that doesn’t bother me; you are only as old as you feel and act. I know I speak for my wife and myself when I say that raising two children under 5 will keep you young at heart and young in mind. Children are wonderful; they never cease to amaze me.

I haven’t seen my wife or my children that much the past month. But if ever I feel overwhelmed in my new job or stressed by the impending move and sudden changes in our lives, I often think back to that day before our trip to China to adopt Matthew. And I smile – that’s all I need for Father’s Day.

“Tell me about my baby brother,” Camryn said as she looked into my eyes. “Talk to me about Matthew. Is he going to be big? Is he still a baby? Can I play with him? “I can’t wait for my brother. I can’t wait for Matthew.”