Bringing Our Child Home from Haiti

“You cannot lose sight of the goal” say Holt International adoptive parents Tom and Debbie Lizer, who are now in process of adopting a second daughter from Haiti.  The Lizers live in Iowa, where they find time in their busy lives to serve as Holt Ambassadors.

by Debbie Lizer

“We live vicariously through the Lizers.” That’s what our good friends tell their friends!

Who are the Lizers? My husband Tom and I and our brood — seven children, four of whom are adopted or in process of adoption from other countries —  are the Lizers. We are somewhat set apart from our “normal” friends.

Our adoption journey began 19 years ago when we brought home our first daughter, Reka, from India at 22 months to join two big brothers. Our tiny little girl flourished and soon our family grew by another son. We put the thought of future adoptions not out of our minds, but still buried rather deeply.

After years of waiting for the right time to make the decision about another adoption, we realized that time was making the decision for us. If we were going to do this, it was now or probably never. I started searching Holt’s Waiting Child website “just to see who was out there.” We thought we might be interested in a preschool-aged child and soon came upon a little girl from India with many unknowns. She stole our hearts and before long, we were working on a dossier, knowing that the choice wasn’t necessarily “safe,” but it was right. Four-year-old Vaishali joined us in a year, and we thought our family was probably complete.

It was during the post-placement phase of this adoption that our social worker urged us to consider Holt’s new Haiti program if we should want to proceed with any subsequent adoptions. We smiled and said, “We’ll see,” but thought, “That won’t happen.” In time, though, curiosity got the best of us. We started reading about the Haiti program in Holt International magazine and checked out the waiting children on the website, “just to see who was out there.” Our interest grew as we noticed the older girls needing families. We reasoned we could handle the placement of an older child, as we had already mastered the ’tween and teen years (to the extent that that’s possible!) and, we rationalized, we really could use a playmate for Vaishali, a sibling closer to her age. We noticed a little girl 7 years old, and our interest continued to grow. Maybe she would fit our plan. But God had a different plan, one much more complex than our own, one that started us on a new journey down a long and rocky road. Yet, God’s plan was a perfect one, and this is how it has been unveiled…

As much as we felt drawn to a particular little girl waiting in Haiti, there was an older girl who began to capture our attention more and more. Finally, we knew in our hearts that Rogette was to be our daughter, so we again began that familiar rollercoaster ride called international adoption. We quickly completed the dossier paperwork after receiving Rogette’s referral. We soon learned that this would not be the well-defined process we were accustomed to with the India program. In fact, we watched helplessly as the Haiti process seemed to be falling apart before our eyes. Time frames grew longer and longer until we finally tried to avoid thinking in terms of time frames at all. One year stretched into two. There seemed to be one problem after another, first a name misspelled on her birth certificate, and then with the two-and-a-half-year mark just around the corner and a month-long embassy closing looming on the horizon, we received the news that Rogette’s passport had been processed, but again, her name was misspelled. So her case sat for another month.

Finally in May we were able to make our first trip to Haiti to do the I-600 work. We had a wonderful first encounter with Rogette and her birth parents and returned home thinking we were so close now. Our spirits soared for one week, then were absolutely crushed when we received word that once again there was a misspelled name, this time triggering the dreaded DNA test. We experienced the gamut of emotions as we hit rock bottom this time. The weeks drug on, and we became moody and withdrawn. Rogette’s 15th birthday came and went, and still we waited. Finally, nearly six weeks later, we received the call we’d been waiting for… we could purchase plane tickets and this time buy an extra one-way ticket back!

This may sound like the end of my story, but I said God’s plan was much more complicated than our own. I really believe I heard the Lord say, “Let not the Lizers’ lives be simple!” Remember the other little girl? Jurane is now 10 and yes, our dossier is once again in Haiti as we begin the process all over to bring her home. Was it a hard decision? Well, we knew God had put her on our hearts several years ago and we really felt she was meant to be part of our family along with Rogette. However, we did still worry about our ability to weather this whole process again. We could easily be discouraged about Holt, Haiti and the adoption process in general. But people say that the pains of childbirth are quickly forgotten, and if we equate childbirth to adoption, we can honestly say that the end justifies the means. We chose to put our trust in God’s complicated plan. Jurane will join our family in a year, or two, or maybe more. And I promise I will grumble and whine and complain about the process again. But as I was reminded on a radio broadcast that I heard by chance while we were contemplating Jurane’s adoption, it really isn’t about us… it’s about the children.

As I write this Rogette has been home seven weeks. In so many ways it seems much longer.  She fits in so well with our family and truly makes herself at home. There are highs and lows (she’s a typical teenager), but our lives have been impacted by this sweet girl. I know our family has made a difference to her as well. We feel very privileged to be a Holt Haiti family. We had the most wonderful experience visiting Holt Fontana Village. We met the cutest, happiest, most animated and affectionate children there. Haiti adoption is a tough process, but it does work, due largely to the dedication and hard work of the Holt staff and Mansour Masse and the in-country staff. For them, too, it really is all about the children.